Begin Again (Severus Snape/OC Love Story)

Chapter Twenty-Three: A Different Kind of Magic

     To everyone else, Snape was barely short of a monster... a disgusting creature of darkness. He was a sinister black outline encasing a hate-filled heart. But to me, he was a radiant spark, a brilliant flame burning brighter than the brightest star. Somehow, he'd illuminated my increasingly dark world when nothing else could.

But could I tell him that?

Three weeks had passed since I'd successfully conjured a Patronus. Three weeks of wanting nothing more than to rush to Snape and show him. Three weeks of uselessly arguing with myself again and again about whether I would admit to him how it was suddenly possible. I didn't know what he would say or do. Maybe he would kick me out of his office, ban me from his classes, and refuse to ever speak to me again. There was a chance, after all, that I was misreading his feelings for "Lily" as feelings for me. But some part of me truly believed he did care for me on a deeper level... at least, that was what I had to tell myself, otherwise I'd lose my nerve.

He had, however, put our lessons on a temporary pause, and I'd seen him pulling Malfoy aside between classes with increasing frequency. I guessed it was in response to Harry's attack, though I couldn't shake the overwhelming sense that Snape was worried about something.

We were nearing the end of June, and therefore the end of the school year. My lack of summer plans was starting to become a serious concern, a fact that my friends badgered me about relentlessly.

"Could you stay with other family? Your mum is from London, right? You must have a great aunt or a cousin or someone!?" said Ginny distractedly one evening as she sat cross-legged on her bed, textbooks splayed in a crescent around her as her eyes flittered from one to the next, cramming as much last-minute knowledge as she could into her brain before her OWL examinations.

I still had no idea where I would be sleeping for two straight months. "Mom never talked much about her family and... well, considering all but my grandparents disowned her and a fair number of them are Death Eaters, I don't think that will be an option," I said.

"Er, right... wait, porcupine quills are used in... Draught of Peace, Cure for Boils, Hair-Raising Potion, and... I know there's one more..." Ginny said, paging frantically through what appeared to be a very used copy of A Comprehensive Guide to Potions Ingredients Part 4: Neem Oil through Rotten Eggs.

"Elixir to Induce Euphoria," I said simply.

"Ah! I knew that!" She snapped her fingers and flipped the brown leather book shut, then scribbled a note down. "And you really won't consider making up with you dad? You could come back to Hogwarts in September, you wouldn't have to stay."

As far as I knew, my dad had returned to America, though (thankfully) I hadn't heard from him since he'd sent that awful Howler. "It's not even a discussion. I'd rather be homeless and sleep in the woods," I said flatly, but Ginny was no longer paying attention – she had successfully cast Incendio at a bit of parchment which had ignited so furiously that she tossed it to the floor in alarm and was now wildly stomping on the flame.

Using this as an excuse to avoid discussing the topic any further, I tucked under the covers and turned away, feigning sleep ten minutes later when the blaze was finally extinguished. Though a place to live over summer break should have been my biggest concern, I couldn't help but find my thoughts completely taken over by imagining another solo lesson with Snape before the year's end.

I'd been trying to be patient with Snape – he was, undoubtedly, preoccupied by something rather important – but as a fourth week came and went, my impatience got the better of me. Now that I'd admitted these feelings to myself, I needed to see him and find out for sure if he felt the same way before I left Hogwarts for the summer. At the very least, even if he laughed me out of the castle, I'd have the entire two months to get over my humiliation.