Move away and Start Again

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by LiuLiuShy

by LiuLiuShy

To myself 💖,

Sometimes I wish I could just move away and start again.

Cut off everyone and everything and just watch the world move on.

I would like to spend my days focusing on my hobbies. I would like that compared to the days I barely survive a fight with life and my mind and everyone around me.

I need to feel silence. Let it swallow me whole.

But is my silence not screaming? I feel like I'm constantly screaming. My mind is loud. If only I could let it out. Rather than it being stuck in my throat, feeling as though I'm drowning. I want to feel freedom as hough I'm running through those long fields, the tall grass grazing my fingertips and no one to judge me for miles. Sometimes I wish that if I ever got that scream, the one that makes it passed those locked up gates, it would be my last.

I would hope that those screams to stop in my head.

The ones that tell me everything is wrong. I'm not doing it right. I'm never enough. The ones that scream at you this isn't what is expected of you. You're not normal.

No one will ever understand the tune of the broken record that plays in your head.

I'm stuck in a cycle of constant negativity and sometimes I never think it will end. Maybe not even screaming will ever end it.

Sometimes I hope it will stop when I move away and start again.

Kind regards - My Mind 💋