Wailing Sirens

Chapter 5 'Blinding rage'

(Warning: ⚠️ Violence later on

Blue awoke in Cyan's bed, this time he wasn't lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling. He looked over at Cyan, now clothed and bathed, they had showered together after everything had finished and calmed down.

It was just as he imagined, how he dreamed, Cyan's hands gliding on his skin. His soft words and their loving bodies pressed together. He washed Cyan's back, feeling his hands down his shoulders, the smile on Cyan's face.

Cyan spoke of how he'd never done this before with anyone, that was good, he didn't want Cyan showering with anyone.

Cyan would laugh and make comments of how happy he was, and how he loved him. Speaking of how he didn't know he'd be able to love someone this much. Blue's hands would shake at that, a stupid knowing grin on his face. He'd reply with all the same feelings, how he loved Cyan and no one else. Only him.

Moments like that made his brain fog, made every horrid and vile action he's committed worth it. Blue was increasingly accepting who he was, who he'd always been, his bloody destiny, his goal, his future. All he'd done to get to this point, every single lie. Had he always been this way, or was he developing into this cruel, lying, and murderous version of himself?

He didn't want to lie, be cruel, or murder anyone, but it had to be done, what needed to be done. He HAD to do everything he's done, fate dared to push them apart, so he took matters into his own hands. His hands, yes, his. His bloody, shaking hands with that sickening grin and widened eyes.

Cyan made no comment on the bandaid, probably not wanting to ruin the mood of the shower, but he's sure to ask eventually. He'll make some lie and Cyan best believe it for his own good. Learning the truth would ruin everything. The second the truth got out was the end of Blue's whole world, no more care, no more love, no more Cyan. He had to be smarter, work harder, lie better. He couldn't lose this.

Cyan was the only person who made him feel, made him alive, and made him who he was. Without Cyan he is an empty shell, a cruel and monotone man that even he is a little scared of.

He was glad Cyan didn't. He used to believe he never wanted to ever lie to Cyan, never tried to hurt him in the few ways he has now, it was never a physical pain, he'd never cause Cyan any real skin-to-skin harm, no no, never that. He never wanted to feel like he'd given Cyan any injury, not a paper cut, not stepping on his foot, not even pulling out one of his hairs by accident. Certainly not a wound like the cuts or bruises he gave Purple or Pink.

Cyan was different, so so much different.

And there was this other feeling. Somewhere in his empty, dark red, bony rib cage was a heart that still felt like it cared. He hates that he cares, some part of him still feels sad, and angry at himself for all he's done. He hates it, hates to care for anything but Cyan. But slowly, he's getting rid of it, it was a necessary step to loving Cyan, to their future.

He will be worse, but he will be Cyan's.

And all he's ever wanted, even before he knew he wanted Cyan, he did. His whole world has been Cyan, since the first sound from his lips, to when he is 6ft under buried next to Cyan. Cyan is all he should care for, should love. They will be everything together, no one can stop him from getting what he wants, Cyan.

They will be.. perfect, Cyan will be in a cage so large he won't realize he's in one. Cyan will be on a leash he believes is a pretty necklace Blue has bought for him. Cyan will be conditioned, he will be scared of something but never know what.

But Cyan will be his, forever, and ever, till the end of time. Till far past the sun explodes, till the last star dies and the universe sinks into a black hole and starts anew, till heaven and hell run out of souls, and much further than any of that.