The Choice ||𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚟𝚒 𝙴𝚗𝚐𝚕.||

Chapter XIV•house of cards

Strange how her life had changed, it was strange because in five years, June had never understood how it was possible to lose a friend like Jon..

Yet she had managed to do it, with only indifference and the unwillingness to speak and not expose herself, was it the fear of a no that kept her silent?

He knew well that Jon was not ready for a new relationship, he knew it because he had listened to him in his conversations and also because he had told him so more than once..

He had always told her that after a ten year relationship, he needed time and to think about himself, Richie had advised him and he was trying to do it..

June also knew how much that relationship was worth gold to Jon, she had explained to her that after the tour he would ask his ex to marry him, because now it was time for the big step..

Big step that had vanished into thin air, leaving only a pile of rubble on a bed of deep bitterness..
And she knew it, maybe she was silent because of that too??

He often saw Richie and Jon talking about a future relationship and the singer always said the same thing..
"Maybe one day, but not now"...
A mantra repeated over time and which perhaps one day would change or not..

No one could say otherwise, except Jon, who only he could know what the right moment was..

And June saw a happy Jon in those days, why thinking about himself did him so much good?!
Maybe yes, maybe he really needed that, it being understood that in June's mind, he had to contact her for her..

A speech which perhaps might seem the opposite, it was not he who had to fight, but it was she who had to give up her grip on something that had no sense of existence..

How many times did June tell herself that the time had come to talk, but then she always thought better of it...
All it took was for him to hear Jon say "not a relationship now" and he stopped instantly..

But that day something had changed, and he saw June, in Jon too cheerful and radiant, what had happened, as long as it happened he didn't know..
Yet no one spoke, Richie didn't ask, but he was sure he would..

But if up until that moment his world had continued to spin, now it had stopped doing so after Jon asked him that fateful question and Jon had only replied with a phrase that he would never have wanted to hear..

- I'm seeing someone, but nothing serious for now -

Crack and everything collapses like a house of cards under her hands, she had never been good at finding the right balance for each card, and this time she just couldn't do it..

How was it possible that Jon was seeing another person after months of saying the same thing "a relationship is unthinkable at this moment"..

And now what had changed in him?!
Who was this person who made him change his mind in an instant?
No no and no he didn't even want to believe it, even though in that singer's face, there was joy as well as seriousness in saying that phrase to his friend who was amazed but at the same time happy..

- you're back in the game I see, and well done you deserve to be happy - Richie said with a hand on Jon's shoulder

He deserved to be happy, but not like this, maybe with her..
But she had been too cowardly to declare herself...
And now he saw how Jon slipped through his hands like a scarf..

Jealousy ..

She had been jealous of something she couldn't have and not now, she hadn't stepped forward and now she was paying the consequences..
He watched his scenario fall to pieces, a house of cards that was first solid and then fell..

And it was useless just to try to put it back together, also because in this whole story there was always a missing card that would have easily made everything fall apart...

And Chanel had told him and how many times and always the same thing..
"You can't be jealous of something you created" and she was right, it couldn't be that way, because she had obviously created this kind of monster of her greatest fears..

Yes, this was one of his greatest fears, he looked and trembled at the mere thought of him seeing someone and yet it was like that..

- it's a nightmare-

She repeats to herself as if she doesn't want to believe what she just heard, but it was too real as long as it wasn't true and Jon was too serious to pretend it was a joke..

And in fact it wasn't a joke, it was a reality that he had to deal with as soon as possible..
He had stopped contacting, he had thought about himself and now he was starting to be happy..
With someone who wasn't her and that was enough to make her tremble..

She knew she had wanted it, but not knowing what to do was priceless, she wanted to regain his friendship, but she wasn't sure he would accept..

Yet she knew Jon, she knew he was a good man with a big heart..
Sure he was stubborn, but he knew he would always be there if he wanted to talk to him..
He told her "I will be here for you"...
They were not words spoken at random, but they were real like the air he breathed every day, but which was missing at that moment..

Tears..

Yes, June was crying at that moment, she was crying considering what she had felt and what perhaps she could have avoided..
He cried because he had seen what it meant to lose someone important for something so stupid...

Decision..

She had finally decided that she had to talk to us, even if only to regain the friendship that was important to her..
He would have omitted his feelings, he would have only told a half truth..

Now that Jon was happy, why ruin everything with his feelings and mess him up?

It wasn't fair, Jon deserved to be happy and Richie was right, for the man he was he deserved someone who appreciated him and maybe that girl really did..

Jon didn't know how events would unfold, but he knew that now he would calmly enjoy what that possibility was offering him without thinking about tomorrow or something in the future..

- are you sure it will go well for you - Chanel only said to her friend seeing her cry

- it must be fine with me, it deserves this happiness, and I certainly won't be the one to ruin it - said June.