Interlude: Aubrey's 25th Birthday

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2 years earlier

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Aubrey

Today was my birthday, but I didn't feel like celebrating.

Grandpa wasn't doing well... At all.

It had been a slow decline over the years, but the hospice workers at the facility I had to put him in told me things weren't going well. They were definitely trying to mentally prepare me for the worst.

I didn't think he had much time left, and they didn't either.

How could I even feel a single ounce of excitement over my birthday at a time like this?

Gary threw me a surprise party, which I would have normally been stoked about, but when I opened the door to my grandpa's house I was staying at that day, and everyone jumped out to yell 'surprise'...

I wanted to cry, for the wrong reasons.

No one knew about my grandpa, about what I was stressed out about... No one knew that this was my grandpa's house I was staying in. How they thought I afforded all this on my own, I wasn't sure... I didn't want anyone's pity, and I didn't want to talk about it either. Only Todd knew about my grandpa, and why I was staying alone in his big house while he spent all day in hospice care.

I put on a smile, though, after the surprise... Everyone pulled me into hugs and cheek kisses.

Gary knew that something was wrong... He was actually probably the only one in the group who had the smarts to put two-and-two together without me explaining that something was up with me.

He kept looking at me in the corner of the living room, concerned, while everyone fought over my attention.

I had a feeling he was going to try to talk to me later, so I actively started avoiding him as I said hello to everyone and they wished me happy birthday. I really, really couldn't handle talking about it. I knew Gary was going to force me to talk about it, if I let him corner me.

Todd and I met Gary when we were only sixteen. Gary was a childhood friend of Todd's parents. He ended up helping us find work in the industry once we both graduated. He had always been like a parent figure to me...

Actually, he was like some sort of gay fairy godfather to all of us in the group.

He was always supporting us, always helping us through challenges... But that didn't change the fact that I didn't want to talk about my grandpa with anyone. It made it too real, talking about it. I didn't want to talk about it.

"Aubrey!" Todd yelled, jumping into the couch next to me while I drank my beer. I faked another smile.

"Hey."

"Hey?" He laughed. "Happy birthday, dude..." He gave me a big hug around the shoulders and I died a little more on the inside.

I tried so hard not to have feelings for Todd, I really did, but I didn't think I'd ever get over him. I finally had him, and then I fucking lost him... I was so mad at myself for it.

He was my best friend, we were perfect together and I was so happy dating him back in high school, but he didn't feel the same way. It still crushed me that he just wanted to be friends.

"How does 25 feel?" He asked.

"...Just as miserable as 24."

He laughed, raking his hand through his silky brown hair. "God, you're so depressing to talk to these days... What's up your ass?"

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