Something New, Somewhere New - Michael Clifford

Goodbyes are Hard

Today is the day. Visa check, my entire life packed away check, plane ticket check and a new life awaiting me check. I am so excited but yet so scared. This is new for me and my family, we have never said a goodbye that was for more than a few months at a time for me leaving for university. This is a goodbye that could last for a year maybe more. I am holding back the tears but the airport is the place I know they will flow freely and in large quantities.

I am just sat in my room, in a house, in a town I have lived in for the last twenty five years of my life, fighting to hold myself together. For my mum's sake more than anyone, she is my best friend and the person I trust the most in the world. She believes in me and that I am doing the best thing for me. Somehow I think she doesn't really believe it. She is telling herself that to stop herself from convincing me to stay here and not fly the nest so far away. Sydney, New South Wales, Australia isn't like me moving to South Wales in the UK which mum would honestly prefer. Five hour drives to Wales are cheaper and easier than twenty four hour flights to Australia.

Someone knocks on the door and I turn to see my mum pop her head around the door. She gives me that sad smile that she always gives me when she is trying to hide what she is feeling. I pick up my bag knowing it is time to leave for Heathrow. I walk over to the door look back into my now empty room and switch off the light for what feels like the last time. I follow my mum down the stairs with a confused glance at her when I reach the bottom of the stairs. Why were there voices coming from the Lounge?

I walk over to the Lounge door and give it a push. There stood around looking rather down is every member of my large family. Grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts and my brother and sisters. The tears I had been holding back come flooding down my face, holding them back for the airport was not happening. My mum rushes in and wraps her around my sobbing body and the rest of my family come forward to give me the largest group hug I will ever experience. My sobs eventually die down to sniffles and shudders. Hugging all the cousins first five of them all so small, a single tear runs down my cheek thinking about how big they will be next time I see them in person. My two uncles and their wives got tight squeezes and kisses and the same for my dad's sisters. My Nan gets the tightest squeeze of all the women who taught me every skill I have. My granddad has to bend down for his kiss and hug. After many promises to skype frequently with everyone and phone calls as soon as I land in Dubai as well as the same for my new home and life in Sydney. Mum, my brother, sisters and I get in the car to head for Heathrow.

The car ride was quiet to say the least no one wanted to say anything in case we all started crying again. My brother Tyler and my sister Lucy sat on their smart phone playing games or texting. My youngest sister Scarlet was watching Toy Story for the billionth time but I didn't mind. These are all the things I am going to miss, leaning my head against the car window I let a single tear trickle down my cheek and closed my eyes.

I woke up to the sound of squabbling from behind me and then it hit me the smell. My brother let one go in a full car for the fun of it. All the windows started winding down letting in the cold English air another thing I am going to miss, the cold night wrapped in my slanket. The windows went up again letting the warmth of the heaters return to the car. Another yelp came from behind me as Lucy punches Tyler on the arm hard. Returning my head to the window after the argument between Tyler, Lucy and mum stops; drifting off to sleep.

I feel someone shaking me awake we were here I slept through the last journey I will make with my family for god knows how long. I start to sob loudly uncontrollably in the passenger seat of THE car causing my mum to rush around to hug me tightly.

"You don't have to go you know." my mum smiled hopefully. I shook my head trying to calm myself in her embraced.

"I have to mum this is something I am doing for you guys as well as me. We need the break from worrying about each other and I want a new adventure." I look at her she is sad but smiling.