Chasing Sunsets

Meeting a Stranger

Haze's POV

Napangiwi ako nang marinig ko na naman ang sigawan sa bahay. My uncle's abusive behavior was taking its toll on everyone. I could hear my grandma's voice, first pleading na tumigil na yung tito ko sa pagwawala, then shouting back. It was a never-ending cycle.

I wished na makakatakas ako, pero saan ako pupunta? The house was both my prison and my sanctuary. As long as I was in my room, everything was okay. But then, may mga moments, katulad ngayon, na even the place I call my sanctuary, feels suffocating to be in.

I sometimes wonder, ano kayang magiging kalagayan ko mentally kung ang pamilya ko ay talagang nagmamalasakit sa isa't isa? Maybe I would be living normally.

Napapa-English tuloy ako because of this. Hay nako.

I don't know what I did sa nakaraan ko na napunta ako sa pamilyang parang series lang ng mga tao na may trauma.

I have lots of questions in life, but this is the one that I actually question a lot.

Nakakainis.

I sighed heavily, hearing the shouts get louder downstairs. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na ito nangyari. It was always the same-my uncle screaming about something, my grandma trying to calm him down, and then eventually shouting back. It was a cycle that never seemed to end.

Nagugutom na ako, but the thought of going downstairs and facing that chaos was too much. But then, I realized na dinner time na. Kailangan ko rin kumain kahit papaano. With a heavy heart, I decided to go downstairs.

Pagbaba ko, nakita ko agad si lola at si tito na nag-aaway pa rin. "Ano ba, tama na!" sigaw ni lola, her face red with anger. Pero si tito, tuloy lang sa pagsigaw at pananakit sa asawa niya na parang wala siyang naririnig.

Nang makita ako ng lola ko, her facial expression changed from angry to soft. "Anong ginagawa mo dito sa baba? Kakain ka na ba?"

"Y-yes," sagot ko, even hesitating to say yes because I saw in my peripheral how my uncle stopped his violence towards his wife. Pero halata ang takot sa boses ko.

"Okay. Sa kwarto mo na lang ikaw kumain," my lola told me when I was on my way to get a plate and spoon.

I gently nodded na lang and proceeded to get rice.

I heard my uncle 'tsk'-ed after that and bumulong na rinig naman ng lahat, "Mababawasan na naman yung plato dito sa baba."

Normally, hindi ko siya papansinin and I'll just go away. But today, siguro napuno na ako.

"Ano bang problema mo, ha?" I snapped, my voice trembling with a mixture of fear and anger. "Marunong akong magbaba ng plato, minsan nalelate lang dahil, sino ba namang kokomportablihin magbaba ng plato kung eto yung madadatnan mo pagbaba? Nakakaperwisyo ka na ng mga tao dito sa bahay, kung di ka informed."

Nagulat si lola sa pagsabat ko. "Haze, huwag ka nang makisali dito. Umakyat ka na lang ulit sa kwarto mo."

Pero hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko. "Lola, lagi na lang tayong ganito. Hindi niyo ba nakikita na mali na 'to? Hindi pa 'ko naniniwala dati na paborito mo yang tangina na yan, but now? Seriously, I'm so disappointed. Since yung image lang naman ng family yung may pakialam kayo, kahit 'di na kay tita, mahiya rin naman kayo sa pamilya niya! Imagine-in mo, lagi nalang siyang may pasa, tatanungin siya ng pamilya niya kung anong nangyari, giving you all a benefit of the doubt. Lalo ka na." I pointed at my tito. "Hindi ka man lang nahiya sa pamilya ng asawa mo. Halata namang alam nila pangaabuso mo kaya mukha ka lang tanga magbigay ng rason sa kanila kung bakit may mga pasa yung anak nila." I breathed for a while, then continued. "Hindi ka man lang rin nahiya sa mga anak niyo. Sabagay, wala ka namang talagang hiya. Kaya nga natanggal ka sa trabaho diba? Kasi sinagot mo yung manager niyo, kahit ikaw ang mali?"