Captured Ink, Hidden Hearts

Louis

Louis stands in front of the wrought-iron gate of the cemetery. His heart is beating fast and his stomach is full of nervousness as he clutches Harry's hand tightly. They have spoken so much over the last few days and have actually come out stronger in their relationship, but today is different. Today Louis wants to introduce Harry to his late mum and then to his siblings. It is important to him that he now takes this step with Harry, that he shows Harry how secure he is with him and that he is now firmly part of the Tomlinson family as his boyfriend. And so it is quite clear that the first step leads to his mother, just as it would have been when she was alive.

They enter the cemetery together and an atmosphere of silence and respect immediately envelops them. The trees cast long shadows over the gravestones and the wind carries the soft rustling of the leaves to them. Louis feels paralysed as they approach his mother's grave and it is a strange mixture of emotions. The grief here in this place is even greater than he already feels and no matter how many years have passed, he can still see himself silently weeping at the grave a few years ago when she was laid to rest. But also proud as he looks up at Harry who already has his eyes on Louis and smiles lovingly at him.

"I can't wait to meet her," Harry whispers.

Louis nods and stands on his tiptoes to steal a quick kiss. "She would have loved you. But come on now."

Arriving at the headstone, Louis watches silently as Harry kneels down, the loving smile from a moment ago never left his face. Louis' mum always liked roses and Harry had brought a bunch of red roses to remember her by and Harry had lovingly picked them out when they stopped at a florist on the way here earlier. Louis can feel the tears in his eyes as he looks at the headstone with his mum's name engraved on it. Harry is right by his side, stroking gently down his back.

"Hey mum," Louis whispers softly. "I brought someone I'd like you to meet." His voice trembles as he looks at Harry.

Harry gently places a hand on Louis' shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze. He probably knows how important this moment is for Louis and was close to tears himself when Louis asked him to come with him a few days ago before they will meet his siblings. The meeting with Anne is also coming up soon and they had both agreed that it would be better if they hopefully had a positive experience first and the fear that the conversation with Anne would go wrong again is a little too great in both of them.

Louis takes a deep breath and then turns back to the grave. "That's Harry," he says quietly. "My boyfriend. My rose. He means everything to me."

The words come with difficulty from his lips and Louis feels as if his heart is going to burst in his chest. The grief of losing his mum overwhelms him a little more, making it so damn real what he lost with her, but at the same time he feels grateful to have Harry by his side. All the emotions at once are hard to bear and Louis has always been a person on the verge of tears anyway, he is too empathetic for his own good.

Harry squeezes Louis' hand even tighter and smiles encouragingly at him. "It's nice to meet you, even if it is under these circumstances," Harry says quietly, addressing the gravestone. As if speaking into the silence in the graveyard wasn't weird at all. Louis loves Harry a little more for it.

Louis smiles weakly back and wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. He feels so grateful for Harry's support in this moment of grief and pain. Louis often wonders when it will stop hurting so much, but probably never with the close bond he had with his mum.

They linger for a while at his mother's grave, silent and thoughtful. Louis senses his mother's presence around them and feels strangely comforted. It is as if she is sending him a message through Harry's love and support that all will be well. That their start was bumpy but they made it anyway.