Tangled hearts | Fool for his bitterness 2

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My eyes can't believe what they are looking at, this can't be true.. not after everything I did for them all.
"Jere..?" My voice sounds hurt and I can even feel my heart shattering in a million different pieces.. it hurts so much I wanna tear off my skin.
"P-Penny?! What are you doing here??" He asks and pushes Belly gently aside leaving her standing alone next to the pool, I take a step back as he approaches me "I wanted to surprise you.. t-to lighten your mood a bit .. I guess that wasn't necessary, wasn't it?" I answer trying to act tough but my whole body hurts, I can feel the pain physically in my stomach and slowly working its way through my entire system, "Penelope please let me explain.." he begins to panic but the period of which I can manage to not just burst out into tears shortens rapidly with every second that passes "There is nothing to explain." I sigh while looking over to Belly with such teary eyes that it blurs my vision already "You never did not love her, I figure I've been just a replacement for something that was taken by your brother." The words hurt as they leave my mouth, I have a huge head ache and even worse I only came here to search for Jere, I'm off school due to summer break and mom is in New York, promoting her new book or whatever.
I am on my own I guess..
I turn around a rush towards the backyard of the summer house "Penny please just listen to me.. it's not the way you think, I swear!" He yells after me, actually causing me to turn around and face him once again, "Oh really, how could you defend yourself cheating on me with my fucking twin sister? With the person that's supposed to be my platonic soulmate and have my back 24/7. Huh? Tell me how the fuck you can look at me and tells me 'I can explain' there is no point in making up lies, you cheated and that with the worst person you could've chosen out of all." I feel how a few tears roll down my cheeks so I wipe them away and just almost run upstairs to my room, laying down on the not made bed.
Clinging to my own knees with my arms, hugging myself tightly.
"I wish you would be here right now" I pray, with my heart still aching I start talking as if Susann would be right next to me, "I remember when you told me that you always wanted one of the boys to end up with at least one of us, I don't think that's the plot you were hoping for but at least your wish came true.." I feel so dumb talking to someone who's gone since months, and to worsen it all Jeremiah enters my room "Penny please, I am sorry"
With red swollen eyes I turn around and face the second boy to ever break my heart, his hands are up in the air on the height of his chest in a way to communicate trough body language "Penny I swear i didn't mean to.. please listen to me" I roll my eyes at his begs and sit up "You are sorry? I am sorry that I ever loved you." I inhale and take a moment till I continue "I always knew she was your number one but little did you know you were mine. Fuck Jere I loved you more than myself, you kept me alive even at my lowest times. I truly loved you, with every piece of my soul and heart." By now tears are just flowing down my cheeks and drooping onto the mattress.
Too stunned to speak he stares at me, realizing what damage he actually caused.
Maybe he finally gets that I was not just a silly grieving girl who was looking for a boy to protect her.
Jere looks at a picture, it's one that he took while we were on a Taylor Swift concert last year, I framed it and put it in this exact room since we stayed over the winter here.
"Do you think you will forgive me for what I did..?" I feel like going insane, who is this boy to ask me this only minutes after the incident?!
How can a before so loving person turn into the most boy-ish boy alive?
"I don't think so, Jeremiah." He nods and with a hint of harm he responds,
"Understandable, Pensy" he then leaves the room and even closes the door behind him.

It feels like hours but it's only been minutes since the conversation, I feel so alone that I decided to get my phone and call Conrad,
It's ringing,
Still ringing,
Will he answer?
Ringing..

»Penelope? Why are you calling me?«
A soft boys answers the phone, I can hear his sleepiness from the other side of the phone, it somehow makes me feel instantly better.
»I-I just had a, I need my best friend moment..«
My stuttering voice forms, it's quite for a while, I can hear his breath though,
»What's wrong?«
»It's about Jere-miah« It feels strange to call him by his nickname, after all this name was one that send chills down my spine, a name that made me feel save but now that I saw what he was capable of I don't think I can still call this nickname a safe place..
»Where are you?«
»A-at the beach house.. Why are you asking?«
»I'm on my way, wait there.«
Is he serious? That must be a one hour drive from his place, that's an insane amount of time just 'to come over'..
»You don't need to..«
But before I get the chance to finish my sentence Connie cuts me off,
»I won't be not there for you a second time.«
His voice sounds so sure about it that he leaves me speechless, it's the way he pronounces words that leaves me so stunned, how can he be this perfect in moments like this?
»Thank you...«
»love you Penny«
He hangs up and leaves me alone in a dark room which is only lightened by my screen that just turned on again
*message from Conrad*
Keep holding on, I'm there in 45'!