I never believed in hell. Not until I met the Giovanni's. 3 devils with no mercy.
Arik Vincenzo Giovanni made my life a living hell. I was once a normal girl, a normal girl who was turned into a ruthless killer.
There's a phrase I could never get...
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Verena Alana Ravvet:
It's only been a day and i think i'm going insane.
I didn't mean to say any of that to Zara, I really didn't. She's been ignoring me for a good day now and i can't keep going like this. She's a part of me, and i need her back.
I don't know where it came from, yes, i agree with some of the things that i said.
However could i have said it in a nicer way?
Yes.
Could i have refrained from shoving her to make things worse?
Yes.
I have no problem taking accountability, for that whole... argument? Whatever it was, it was my fault and mine alone.
Zara had every right to be upset about the fact that we had killed 4 people. We did it together and i can't help but feel guilty, as if i had pressured her into doing it.
I don't know what happened that day, i don't know why i had so much adrenaline and excitement in me after murdering 4 men i never knew. They had lives, they had a family.
They had a whole life outside of this.
I feel guilty for taking it away from them. When i got home i wanted to talk to Zara but she was... busy.
Of course i'm shocked but not surprised. Enyo and Zara have been eye fucking each other since the moment they met and i can only hope he's out of her system and that she doesn't get attached...
When i got to my room that day everything that i did came flooding my way. I thought if i just pushed it aside i'd be okay, but i was far from that. I showered and did everything as normal until i was left alone with my thoughts and broke down. I sobbed until i felt numb, but the guilt still ate at me.
The person i was when i was in that car, i fear her. I fear her because she's the women i never wanted to become.
She was exactly like my mother...
A feeling took over me that day, a feeling i have to learn to control. Lately i've been more angry, more stressed, more up tight. I feel like the day i lashed out on Zara was all of my anger and stress coming it out. I took it all out on her which wasn't right.
If that's how it's going to be then i have to find a healthier way to express these shitty emotions. So here i am, making my way to the gym. Valentino told me there's a punching bag there so i grabbed my gloves and made my way downstairs.
When i get there i hear someone already punching the bag. Soft groans are heard and i walk in to see Zara punching the bag with all her might. She stops when she sees me.
"Hey." I mumble looking at her with a smile.
She smiles back before getting back to punching.
"Hi." She grunts out as she continues hitting the punching bag.
