I love foxes | I love you

Cold skin | Medium cooked | Warm hands

How can I find myself in the same bed as Kyle Broflovski? Don't ask me. His breathing was smooth, but sobs sometimes escaped his mouth. I sometimes wonder about this boy. He's always helping me, but nobody's looking out for him. It's like I have to remind him that he's allowed to be human and have fun. Who the hell goes to the library while we're on summer break? Obviously, if I went with him to the library, I would only pay attention to his features. Heck, I've done that millions of times already. His Gingery red curly hair, light Freckless and the slight growth spurt. His body language feels slightly uncomfortable, especially when we talk about puplic places, but around me, he seems way more comfortable. Especially when he's drunk. Look, I know he's only been drunk like once, but that one time told me a lot about what he feels around me. I'm happy he's so comfortable with me. He gives me a reason not to hate my life right now, but I sometimes fear that he isolates himself too much. His cold skin, hand draped over my chest, the smell of cinnamon kept me up last night. The thought of him just makes me feel......different.... like I've never felt this was for anyone before. Bebe? Nope. Butters? Not even close. Anyone? Nope. But Kyle? Yes.

The light danced around the room as I tried to focus my eyes on a specific item. Pictures on my desk table, the time when we all went to Hawaii. Or the little rainbow flag on paper clipped to that photo. My phone turned on but made no sound cause of the fact that I turned all my volume down. The blue painted wall stung with all the light. Suddenly, I was hungry. I groaned and tried to get out of the tight grip that I was in, but it failed. Somehow, I didn't notice the short blonde boy in my arms. I found myself softening instantly at the boy. Sometimes, it felt like I was the small one, but I tend to forget I'm older than Kenny. I slowly shifted out of his strong grip and tucked him in, so it seemed like I never left. Slowly closing the door to not wake him. Mom and dad were taking Ike to the airport because, aperently, he had a trip with his friends in New york. Lucky bastard. But mom left us some pizza while they were gone. They said they also needed to get some work done in the office, so they will probably be back later tonight. Grabbing the pizza box plus some sodas, I set them all on the counter. Putting the pizza in the microwave while I quickly stormed upstairs to my bedroom and slowly put the sodas on my desk. I stormed back out and grabbed the pizzas out of the microwave. I sat down on my desk chair and put on 'to all the boys I loved before' second addition. I was so invested in Larajean and her 5 boys, well technically 4, because one of them is gay so that's a no-no for her. Honestly, I wish i had 4 boys swooning over me. Never mind, that sounds terrible. 

Finally, finished with the movie, I went over to the bathroom and decided to take a shower. The hot liquid hit the top of my head, and it reminded me of kenny. Everything reminds me of kenny. Soon, the refreshing shower ended, and I stepped out onto the cold floor. Once I was out of the bathroom, I realized that my parents were finally back. The scent of hot cocoa and Gingery cookies hit my nose. They were medium cooked. "Hi, dad." I said as my dad came out of the kitchen with hot cocoa. "How's Kenny?" Wow, not even a hello. "He's fine." I said as I grabbed his hot cocoa and chugged it. "Kyle, why is Kenny still here?" Dad asked, and it made my blood boil. "What's that supposed to mean?" It came out rather annoyed. "Doesn't he have a home to go to? I know he's poor, but....he's not that poor, right?" I shoved the cup back into his hands and rushed back upstairs. Mom gave him a side eye. 

I slid back into my room and sighed loudly while banging my head backward on the door. "Kyle? You good, buddy?" I opened my eyes to find kenny still in bed but looking at me. "Yeah, I'm fine." No, I wasn't. "Come here." Ken opened the covers signaling for me to slide in next to him. He was warm, in a good way. "Do you seriously only solve problems by cuddling with someone?" He chuckled. "Yes, that makes anyone feel better." He shifted so he was staring at the ceiling. My head was on his arm. His warm hands drew circles on my shoulder side. "Kyle..... are you happy being my friend?" This caught me off guard. So off guard that I sat up and looked at him. "Excuse me?" He sat up beside me. "I asked if you're happy being my friend." His purple eyes were hard not to look in. "Kenny....of course, I'm happy being your friend. Why even ask?" He shrugged and lied back down, pulling me to his sides. "I don't know, back then it always felt like I meant nothing to you.." Oh no. "I never did anything to make you guys hate me other than existing, so I always just felt.... alone." He wasn't wrong, I was a real douche bag growing up. "Kenny, of course I cared about you, I just....I-I just.." Tears pooled in as I regretted all of my life choice. "I just never wanted to explicitly say it. If I did I would sound like some kind of pussy or gayass weirdo." Shut up broflovski. "I get what you mean. Especially when your friends with Eric Cartman." I wiped my tears away and chuckled at his comment. "Remember Butters? The poor kid just got pushed around for nice." I continued to  chuckle at his words but I couldn't help but feel....wrong for what we did to Butters. Maybe I am just as bad as Cartman. "I'm sorry, Ken. I don't know what was going through my head as a kid, but it definitely something." His head turned to me but he wasn't looking at my eyes.