Freefall

Meal Prep

The shower in her hotel apartment was nothing short of an experience all its own. Maybe it wasn't the most mind-altering one she was going through currently, but she tried to take it for what it was nonetheless. She'd carefully chosen which setting she wanted, using cold water to test each mode before settling on the one that seemed to mimic a waterfall. It was a harsh and steady stream of hot water, burning down her body and massaging out her tense muscles as soon as she had let herself step in. Initially, it was all she could do to stop herself from moaning in pleasure- it was by far the best experience she'd had in weeks.

The water never seemed to run cold, either. It was hard to tell how long she was in there before she actually started cleaning herself, let her mind start moving again to process everything she needed to before going to see Atlas.

As she started in on her hair, scrubbing her fingers on her scalp in a new kind of massage, she found herself thinking of the many emotions she had seen cross through Atlas' features. There had been a distinct lack of feeling in the beginning, but under that cold mask something had been burning. Maybe it was guilt, for being forced to take her to a place like Verlice's lab. Even though she could tell he hadn't gone into this completely ignorant, he was clearly out of his depths. With Verlice, with her, with the situation... Poor Atlas was treading water in a sea of her problems, and he hadn't even wanted to get into the water in the first place. Still, her mind found images of his smile, many of them playful, some of them tight, and her favorite few, soft and only for her. It wasn't all doom and gloom, and despite what part of her wanted to think, he wasn't being forced into any of this. Something told her that he wasn't a man who could be forced into much... Denying Verlice his prize was proof of that much.

She liked to imagine that maybe it was personal for him, that maybe there was a part of him that just wanted to stay with her. That couldn't bear the idea of leaving just as much as she couldn't.

There was more to it than safety. There was something else, something deeper...

When her heart sped up, she moved on to more pressing matters. Like how she was going to be donating her blood to him- not the most important of the issues facing her, surely, but one that made her stomach do flips nonetheless. There was something incredibly thrilling about the idea, imagining those sharp teeth of his biting down into her neck...

Except, it was her neck. While most of the people he had probably fed from before had soft, clear, probably beautiful skin...

She looked down at her own, textured with the evidence of just how unlovable she was. This was the answer to why she didn't believe that she had a soulmate out there. How could she?

Disgrace,

Freak,

Inhuman,

Mistake,

She could hear them in a high soprano in her mind as she read the words carved into her pale skin. The voice was frothing with hate, the woman's voice ragged and huffing out some words while others came out cold, like she had encased herself in ice just so she would have a barrier between herself and the child she carved into.

She'd prepared for this, though. There was one word she heard that voice say over and over, as many times and as many ways as she had branded it into her skin.

Monster, hysterical and unpredictable.

Monster, cold and unfeeling.

Monster, pained and full of regret.

Monster, determined and anguished.

Monster, taunting and playful.

Despite the darkened skin being numb to the touch, she could feel the emotion behind each burn.