❛ WORDS I CAN'T SAY, I WRITE TO YOU ❜
( 愛. ) aventurine had always been a charmer, his words captivating, deceptive, tempting. but when it comes to you, all of it crumbles, and the words of love so unfamiliar to his tongue, he writes to you instead...
i'm happier without you i have to tell myself that to keep going your existence is eating away at my brain devouring it completely
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the messages piled up on aventurine's mobile device, each ping a painful reminder of his cowardice. you inquired about his well-being, suggested new places to visit, even shared a silly meme that once would have brought a smile to his face. but now, they felt like he swallowed shards of glass.
he blankly stared at the glowing screen in front of him. how had it come to this? How quickly he was reduced to a trembling mess by the mere thought of you.
he'd tried to fight it, to convince himself that his feelings were fleeting. he'd even tried to push you away, hoping that distance would dull the ache, convinced himself you were just like the rest, someone he needed to please with his wealth in order for you to stay. because why would you?
but nothing worked.
the more he tried to deny his feelings, the deeper they became, wrapping around his neck and choking him. your laughter echoed in his dreams, your touch lingered on his skin, and your scent haunted every corner of his apartment.
aventurine swore he was losing himself to emotions he couldn’t control. and the scariest part was, he didn't want to be saved. he wanted to run to you, to bury his face in your hair and confess. but he’s a liar, a man with a past that still haunts him til this day, bringing him issues, problems he can’t possibly let you carry. how could he possibly deserve someone like you, someone so pure, so radiant?
the weight of his guilt became unbearable, crushing him under its relentless pressure. he knew he couldn't stay, couldn't risk dragging you down with him. but these were all excuses, and he was nothing but a coward. can you forgive him?
with trembling hands, he deleted the messages, one by one, erasing any trace of his connection to you. and he blocked you.
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you frown as you notice you can no longer send messages to aventurine. each of your efforts to reach out to him was left without reply, cruelly ignoring you even as he marked it as seen. you turned outside the window.
it was raining again.
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𝖑𝖆𝖎. not proofread. 3 updates...this is it from me this month, see you next year...i think. i finished all of these rather than study. it's exam week but hey, aventurine >>
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