Shame On Me || satoru gojo x f!reader

understanding

"I think if they keep ordering him to kill the people he cares about, he's gonna snap."

"Domain Expansion. Infinite Void."

Gojo's voice is eerily devoid of its usual nonchalance, even devoid of the warmth you've come to know from him. The words carry a weight familiar to any sorcerer. His grip on your shoulder tightens and although you know you're safe from his sure-hit domain, the realization brings no comfort.

His chest is rising and falling as quickly as his heart is pounding in his chest as his warm breath fans the top of your head. His breathing grows quicker, deeper, and you feel his lips brush the top of your head, before he's gone from your side entirely.

It all happens so fast, you don't have time to register exactly what happens. You hear a gasp, a cry, a growl. Each one followed by the slumping sound of a body hitting the floor. With wide eyes, you turn to face the sorcerer when the sixth sound rings in the air of the still room.

Standing only a couple of feet away is Satoru, but there's no warmth, no cunning smirk, not even a cold and calculated glare across his features. He's panting heavily through his parted lips, blood spattered across his face. The crimson liquid drips from stained white locks, coming to land on his shoes beneath him.

Before you have a chance to take a look around at the damage, the lives fading from the room, Gojo lifts his head, an eerily unfamiliar look in those blue eyes of his. He doesn't look like himself, wide eyes filled with a seething anger like fire raging through a forest. Like nothing can quell the flames that had ignited.

Still, he teleports to your side, wrapping an arm around you as he guides you out of the room. He makes a point of using his body to block you from the sight of the room, guiding you away from the carnage as he closes the door behind him.

Now out of the room, you turn to observe him. You aren't sure if the move he made was the right or wrong one. You don't have enough information to truly judge the higher-ups, although you disagreed with their methods. But still, they were people. People who sentenced you to death without ever considering giving you a chance. The moment the sentence was given, you knew your fate had been decided for you the moment you had entered the room.

As you realize that, you know Gojo knew that too. That's why he had insisted on remaining in the room, this was the plan he had always had in mind all along. Whether he knew he would snap or not, he always knew this would be the outcome.

Whether it was the right call or not, you weren't sure.

You just knew that the lack of mercy he'd displayed towards them scared you.

But looking up at those crystalline blue eyes now, glinting with an anger you'd never before witnessed in him or anyone, you recognize something.

The way the pads of his fingers grip your shoulder like he was holding onto you for dear life, the way he positions his body to prevent you from seeing the carnage behind him, the way the anger behind his eyes glints with something else, something more. He's scared, too.

"Gojo?"

Chest still heaving, his furious eyes flicker to you, but they seem to look through you, like he isn't all there.

"Are you... okay?"

He doesn't answer. It's a foolish question, but it's all you can think to say. You inhale sharply, turning to face him as you pull out of his grasp. Examining his expression, you tug your lip between your teeth.

Thoughts race through your mind as you try to think of something, anything, that might help, but you don't know the man standing before you. Despite being at the school for several months now, he never let you get to know him. You never bothered. You were both always at odds with one another.