Never Forget You

Chapter 1

I could see it all again; feel it. The headlights from the car we passed before our vehicle... malfunctioned.
    
My mum turning around to tell me she loved me while my little sister evie was asleep in the backseat.
    
I'm so glad she was asleep and didn't have to feel it.
A tear left my eye as i realised what was happening, what was to happen. I whispered
"I love you too mum."
      She smiled through bitter tears. That's when our car ran itself off the bridge. At the start there was my dad, my sister and my mum.
    
First, my dad died fighting for his country, he knew the risk. I only wish he had cared for me as much as he did for people he'd never even met.
    
You can't always get your way though and if that's what he wanted to do it would be selfish of me to say i wanted him to stay. After him it was the incident.
    
I could feel the water in the lungs, the pain. So much effort to breathe just one breath; but failing.
    
Then there was a stranger who had seen it all happen and dived into the water and managed to save me. Why me? I wasn't deserving of his gesture it should've been Evie. She was only 9. Im 19 I've lived far more than her
    
I blame myself for her not living, if i wasn't there he would've grabbed her instead. She could've still been alive if it wasn't for me. I killed her. It's all my fault. All the feelings were there again, the guilt, shock, horror as the eye widening thought of loneliness left my eyes in the form tears running down my numb face. I didn't dare to blink or make any sound or stand up i just sat on the concrete path next to the river where id just seen my whole family die.
    
I tried to convince the stranger to go back for them but he said when he got me we had been in the water for 3 minutes and by the time he got out and gave me CPR it changed to 9 minutes.
    
He didn't need to say it. They were gone and i couldn't get them back. I lost them forever.
    
The paramedics arrived shortly after and kept asking me if i was okay. What the hell did they want me to say i'd just lost the only two people i had ever loved in a matter of minutes.
    
They wrapped me in a blanket and took me to the hospital. If we hadn't had insurance i don't even know how i would've paid for it.

Then my eyes opened. I was safe. The dreams are one of the worst parts of it all. You can't sleep without being taunted by memories you wish you didn't have. You wish you didn't experience. However, you did experience it, you experienced all of it and now you have to live with it.