I WOKE UP ON A GUYS BODY

CHAPTER 1: My body is not my body

At the age of 14, I started twisting things up. Thinking every opposite direction. Clinging into unimportant matters and wishful thinking, just like living in fantasy.

But when will I be able to accept everything? That this is the reality? Na ito nga ang totoo na malayo sa paniniwala ko? I don't know where to start at mas lalong hindi ko alam alin ang totoo. Maybe this is a dream? And the reality is what's written on the books? I have so many questions in my head but one thing that I know for sure, fantasy does exist. If not, then how are you going to explain why am I on a guy's body when I'm supposed to be not.

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CHAPTER 1: My body is not my body

"Gusto kong maging lalaki"

ito yung salitang paulit-ulit kong binabanggit kapag nasasaktan ako ng isang lalaki. Yung tipong walang buwan o taon na hindi ko ito nababanggit.

Hayst.... (sights) kung pu-pwde lang talaga.

Ang hirap maging babae at alam ko rin namang mahirap maging lalaki.

I mean, walang madali kahit ibahin ko pa ang kasarian ko. Tao pa din naman ako, masasaktan at masasaktan pa rin naman ako sa ayaw at sa gusto ko. But for some reason, gusto ko pa rin ang maging lalaki.

Siguro... kung ipinanganak lang akong lalaki, tratratohin ko ng tama yung babaeng liligawan ko. Ipaparamdam ko sa kanya kung papaano dapat mahalin ang isang tao ng hindi sapilitan. Ibibigay ko sa kanya ang mga bagay na gusto ng isang babae at hindi basta babae lang.

She won't settle for a bare minimum. At last, i'll never make her shed a tears just like my dad did to my mom. I'll love her the way she wanted to be loved.

Yun ay...

kung magiging lalaki nga ako. Pero malabo yun, napaka impossible naman kung mangyayari nga.

"Cassandra naman! sa ganda mong ito?! Gusto mong maging lalaki? Sure kaba?" Pag iinarte ko sa harap ng salamin.

Maybe hanggang doon nalang talaga yun, at baka next life pa ako pagbibigyan ni papa God. Kung pagbibigyan nga. Sa dami ba naman ng kasalanan ko sa mundo?

"Chosssss... papa God pagbigyan mo naman ako kahit ngayon lang ho, Ilabyu."

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*KINABUKASAN

//Ring* (Alarm ringing louder and louder)

"Ang ingay naman nito! Sino ba kasing gonggong ang nag on ng alarm clock?! Makatulog nangalang ulit"

Tatlong oras ang lumipas*

Weird pero Infairness ang lambot ng kama ko today. Hindi man lang ba nila ako na isipang gisingin? Simba ngayon tapos... Ewan.

Yawn*

I wonder what time it is na....

"9:45? Nako, nakoooooo No! Lat.. Late?!" Is what I'm about to say when suddenly i saw the mirror.

Right in front of that mirror is a masculine guy who's handsome is... standing, wearing a boxer. And my voice? Is very masculine nga naman.

"No..."

"Please NO"

"Nahhhhh don't say that's me?"

"Definitely not. If nanaginip ako ngayon, I wish to woke up."

I tried pinching my cheeks to check if I was dreaming and confirmed. I wasn't.

"Soooo? That guy over there? Is me? Nahhhhh."