P'Charlie

Desiderium

Desiderium: a deep longing for something or someone that is no longer there or lost.

Since it takes so long to actually find a name that feels right. I decided that i have to tell you what it meant to me. I will do so with the previous chapters too.

Happy reading ahead.🙃

Pls do read the notes at last too.

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Jeff

As I sat in my room trying to complete some work. Which I don't even remember what was in the first place. All I know is that currently my head is a mess with all these reoccurring thoughts and what if's.

Everything that happened over the last couple months has definitely taken a toll on me and of course on P'Charlie.

That incident happening in the garage, where they accused me of trying to sabotage with Babe's car following with everything that happened which ended up resulting in me and P'Charlie resigning from there.

It still gets too much.

I really started to enjoy working there, spending my time at the garage was definitely working great for me.

P'Charlie really enjoyed working there specially, with P'Babe being there. He had to leave because of me. He chose me over his happiness as always. I feel happy that I was his priority even with the addition of so many others, but I really feel bad that he has to give up on his desires because of me. P'Charlie has always given up everything for me. I don't want him to give up his love for pbabe too, when I know myself how happy he is with just being near P'Babe.

He wanted to work in the garage. He liked working there.

We both liked being in the garage for sure.

Even if I didn't used to talk much with anyone there but still they all had made a place for them in my life. For the last few months they have been a significant part of my life. But that last interaction really changed everything for me.

No one trusted me even after giving my best there. Even he didn't try to put his trust in me.

Although he never said anything, but his eyes somehow told how disappointed he was, how wary he was of me. I can never forget that look of distrust. For a second he looked at me like he could never trust me, as if everything was wrong. It seemed like in that second nothing mattered anymore, like i didn't mattered anymore to him.

I thought there was something. Something special between us. Maybe that was all my wishful thinking. Maybe there was nothing to begin with. Maybe I was wrong all this time. Maybe it was just me putting my own desires and expectations onto him

"Was it really just my imagination" he couldn't help but just drop his head with a sigh.

_____________

"Jeff, are you alright. What happened?"

"P'Charlie. Aren't you asleep yet".

"How could I ever be asleep when you seem this much distressed".

As Charlie sat down on Jeff's bed while looking over at him, Jeff couldn't help but drop his guard. He went over and sat beside his P'.

"P', I don't know......it just gets too much sometimes. I can't help it P'. I have been thinking about whatever that happened in the garage that day. It scares me P'. I am scared that I might disappoint you too. I am scared that you will think of me as a selfish person too. I...I can't help it P'. I am sorry na. I am really sorry."