X Y Z

Six

Giselle Park wouldn't have answered Zach's call, she didn't but her neighbour, Max, did. So, that wasn't on her. She ignored it the moment the line went dead. But when Yousuf's call came the very next second, she knew something had to be wrong. And before she could pick it up, he hung up. It could've been an accidental swipe, she thought but then when Xavier called, she knew that these three met and are probably getting wasted. There could be many bars in the town and yet she knew, if Yousuf was with them, there had to be only one bar- the one she met Yousuf at.

She got into her car, not caring to change her clothes because there's only one way to get them to move on because she was tired of Zach's calls. Now, she would have blocked them and deleted them from their life, not that she kept in touch with them but Xavier had no family in this city and he was like a bull chasing after anything red and she continued to be his emergency number, just in case. Not that Xavier knew it.

And Yousuf drank way too much. When she was with him, there wasn't a single day he wouldn't be wasted by the night. She hated that. No matter how many times she told him that alcohol can fuck with people completely, he never listened and though he could function almost normally even when he's intoxicated to a certain limit, she was always worried about him. She even gave the bartender her landline and her phone number if he got into any trouble or something. And Yousuf wasn't even from this country to begin with, so even with their past, she couldn't not be worried about it.

And for Zach, she just felt pity. She'd be lying if it didn't boost her ego now and then when she saw his missed calls. She was just as human and on her low days, it felt nice to be wanted, to see him feel the guilt and regret. But then, that's that. She knew she had to let the three of them go, she wasn't their parent and she certainly wasn't as narcissistic to keep Zach as an ego boost. And the moment she's done with them tonight, she'd delete their numbers and block them, even, in front of them.

The moment she parked the car and got out, she could see their faces bruising and them sprawled out on the ground with their backs supported by the wall, she facepalmed.

Rubbing her arms against the cool breeze, she glared at them as Zach hid behind Yousuf as if she'd beat them like a mother punishing their kids. “What in the hell is this?!”

When they didn't dare say a word, she heaved a sigh. “Okay, first things first, why did you call me?”

“I-” Zach opened his mouth and closed it. Yousuf looked anywhere but her and Xavier's eyes were stuck on her legs and she regretted not changing her clothes.

She put her hands on her hips. “Eyes up here, Xav-”

“Watermelons,” He sighed. “You haven't changed, Giselle.”

She frowned, crossing her arms against her chest but then letting them fall to her side because of these drunken monkeys. “So? Was I supposed to?”

“No, no, I meant, if you like the same things as you did, do you like me too?” Xavier was the first guy she ever dated and daydreamed her life with. Sure, it took her nearly a year to move on from how gentle and soft he was with her despite how intimidating he can be, but she was over him.

Sure, she still remembered his favourite things- that he preferred mint chocolate ice cream and fixing random things in their flat whenever he was free, that he could do almost fix anything and the way he drove the car with such finesse even in the worst of traffics or roads, that he loved her but could never say it aloud because he wasn't used to it but he would show her in a thousand different ways, she knew a lot of things about him. Sure, if she stayed back and tried to fix things or gave him some time because he was right, they were way too young to marry and settle down with a house and kids, they probably would've been together. Maybe still not married or ready to settle down but they definitely would've been together.

She knew what type of a man she chose back when she was nineteen so it was on her to expect him to change just because she was twenty three and he was twenty five. But deep down, she knew she had it coming. Xavier wasn't a man who could be tamed and domesticated but she read too many books, watched too many movies and fancied the possibility that he would settle down with her.

But she wasn't as foolish anymore. If it's not the alcohol, none of them would actually want her. Guilt, regret and nostalgia are the worst memory manipulators. It's not on them to be confused but she knew she was the foolish one, making rash decisions in utter hopelessness.

She shook her head, “Xav, please let's not go down that road, okay?”

“Giselle, love, the history we had together? Who can erase it? We're meant to meet again. Two years too late but here I am, ready to settle down. Say it and you'll have it, hm?” He stood up, walking towards her.

She took a step back and it took a lot of energy and convincing to do, afterall in these three men, he was the only proper ex she had, the one she knew inside out, the one who knew her inside out. She was almost tempted to run back into her arms and believe him. But deep down, she knew that it was the regret talking.

She shut her eyes tightly, shaking her head. “Stay back, Xavier. We're ancient history, you gotta move on. It's just guilt, regret, nostalgia and mostly alcohol talking.”

“Alcohol talking?!” When she opened her eyes and found his baby blue eyes that contradicted his entire personality, the ones she adored, glistening, she wanted to slap herself.. Xavier Corlton didn't know how to express emotions, let alone something he considered weak to be shown by men. She remembered once making fun of it that it was his toxic masculinity upbringing but he smoothly shut her up with “It's not that I don't cry or hate showing it, it's simply that I want to be the one wiping your tears, so you can trust on me to do it anytime. So you can fall back on me, so you know that you can lean on me.”

Her eyes softened and her hand almost reached for his face. She stopped herself. “Xavier, please. You know that-”

“It's been two years and I decided that I moved on and started dating a woman. She's a good woman, I know but she's not you, Giselle. I cannot force myself to love her and kiss her and-” He stopped himself as he shook his head. “You must be moved on but I still am exactly where I was when you left me. But I won't force you to be with me, like I did not in these two years. It's your call to make. I'll get going, I've been here all day.”

And he simply turned away, searching for his bike and sped out, not sparing her a glance or waiting for her response. As rash and impatient as always, she thought, but it was funny because those were the terms he used to call her. Her shoulders drooped as did her frame, she didn't know what to do.

Yousuf and Zach exchanged glances. Before they rushed towards her with similar explanations as to how they're ready to be with her, how they would do anything to be with her but they started bickering with each other more than they talked to her and she still kept glancing at the direction in which Xavier vanished.