Kismet

Eleven - Kory

Last night's thoughts kept him up. He stayed in the tent, isolating himself from the others.

He couldn't keep his mouth shut for his life, so as a way to 'cope' with the personal issue, he isolated himself.

Too much, could be an overstatement. Too much silence. Too much of the 'cold shoulder'. Too much of anything. Anything could set him off, a slip of the tongue would ruin his friendship with the boy he so longed to freely love.

It ached him, it dug into his brain like sharp, unkempt knives.

He wasn't sure if he even believed in God. A man who gave little attention to the conflicts in the world, to the people who craved his comfort.

He shouldn't be one of those people, he shouldn't fear such a god.

But who would he believe in? He prayed every night, despite the doubt in his gut that God wouldn't listen, he'd brush it off like the previous prayers Kory always gave.

"...Kory?" Someone asks, making Kory being pulled away from his poor thoughts. The name still felt weird. Kory. Strange name for a strange boy.

"Yes?" Kory replies, sitting up as he looked up to see who 'needed' him. Zeke. Him. His body stiffened as he kept his unfocused gaze on Zeke.

"Are you okay? You've been acting weird." Zeke walked into the tent, sitting next to Kory. "I know something's wrong." He states, sounding confident in his true observation.

Kory's heart picked up, his stomach dropping. Did he know?, He nearly thought out loud. Was he just...sugarcoating the situation? He nodded, dusting off the invisible dirt off of his pants before standing up and leaving the tent. It was colder outside than inside the tent.

Zeke quickly caught up to Kory, pulling his arm back to stop him. "We need to walk." He emphasized. Kory walked with him, not uttering a single word. Tired was also an understatement to how Kory felt. The weight of his secret, along with his unfortunate mood swings that happen without notice. One day he'd be as happy as a child with a new toy, and the next he'd be huddled up in bed, a melancholic look on his face with hurtful words he never meant towards people who tried to get him up.

A vague lift of the finger and he was done. It was like he was pinned down with weights chained to his limbs and the key thrown into a rushing river. "Is there something you want to tell me? I promise not to tell anyone else." Zeke suddenly says, making Kory stop in his tracks.

He was disinclined to tell Zeke the truth. The truth that would either be the best confession he had ever done, or the worst.

Kory wasn't sure if the outcome would be good. The chances are too low, he always knew Zeke liked girls, not boys. That's a sin, Zeke would say whenever Kory hinted at the subject.

"I do. But you won't like it." Kory says, as Zeke stops walking too.

Silence for a stupidly long minute.

"Okay." Zeke says. "I doubt it'll be bad. Just tell me."

Kory nodded, but the words were stuck in his throat, the lump in his throat blocking them from coming out.

He exhaled, his lungs begging for the slightest air.

"I like you."

Zeke paused, nearly laughing. "Yeah, I like you too." He smiled. "We're best friends, of course we like each other." Zeke's oblivion was like a dagger to the heart.

Best friends.

"No, I— I mean I like you, I love you, Zeke. I love you." Kory says, raising his voice, getting too confident.

Zeke's smile faded, near confusion mixed with disgust washing over it.

"Not—not in that way, right? That's a sin, Kory. You know that."

"I know." Kory mumbles, as he watches Zeke back away.

"I'm not...a sinner." He says.

"I am." Kory's shoulders slumped. "I don't know why."

Zeke looked down, staring at his dirty, white shoes. "I can't be friends with someone who God won't accept."