Another fucked up shit. Saint Huston didn't have us lower classes learning for shit , community done been deprived but we still bust our asses to make it. Interviews ain't big on us and I don't blame an average white guy with a fat ass wife and kids to come home to. Hustling been going around here ever since I remember. Them cops don't know when the fuck to leave us alone though and even though I'm just a black kid getting good education with fine grades I never liked how unfair it was. None of us did
I make a mess with busted air force one's on the ground. Laughter from the basketball court. Even though these my classmates I don't look or feel like any of them. Most of them white and some black kids been whitewashed by probably their parents. What I mean none of them on the type of shit I'm on but I stay quiet keep my head down for people that matter. This the last day of Saint Huston and I already got plans for summer. Growing up. For an eighth grader I'm skinny and small which I hate since all my cousins older and grown. That's why I got my skinny ass on the basketball team but the main reason ain't me trying to look all beefed. Angel. She a cheerleader for our team.
I know she's like me. She on the team of whitewashed kids but I sense she an actual black. She's got everything to prove to them not me though. I see it all. "Johnson you're up!" Coach yelled. That mother fucker got the name wrong again. They cant see my thoughts. I ran to the court. Angel kept doing squats. "yeah coach?" He was giving me the You black so get you're ass on the court look. "run some laps son" Fucker. He gave me laps last week and I almost quit but remembered why I joined in the first place. "I ran them up last week coach plus it's last day" Gave me the look again but more forced. "which is why we need to make it memorable Akon" Its Leon motherfucker. Leon James. "Yes coach"
Mom comes home late cause she takes extra shifts at the hospital. That's when I hang with Jake mostly at his crib cause mom don't really like him. She say he a bad influence cause he down the block where all the action happens but so far Jake and I been homies. Good ones. I invited him tonight so we can catch on some 2K. He beating me so far just like he does at everything. Jake is that one motherfucker. He tall , got braids, four years older than me. So he prolly like a big bro to me. I been telling him about Angel and he says I'm whipped but I'm not. Just cuz I think she not whitewashed don't mean I'm in love with the bitch. IM HERE. Saw the text he sent.
"what's up little man!" he gave me a hard tap. Hated it when he called me little man like as if I ain't insecure enough. "My guy I'm bout to grow just you see" He did that laugh he does when he think I'm cute and petite. "Don't be talking little dude lets play 2K so I can beat you're ass" I know he will but I can't show it. This ain't just a game no more this is Jake making me feel small then sugarcoating his shit. "We gonna see old man"
Two hours into playing and he beat me up. "Pay up little man" Little man. How long am I gonna be that. "Man I told you don't call me that " The same laugh came back. "Yo I was grown when I was you're age changed grew out of them busted shoes" He tapped his feet on my shoes. I was about raging now. "Eat a Twinkie like a bitch" Nigga done crossed the line. I ain't a bitch might be small like one but I sure as hell wont let him talk to me like that even if we homies. I'm usually a chill guy never got in trouble. Maybe that's the thing. Being grown means taking care of you're mistakes and maybe I ain't grown cuz I didn't make any mistakes yet. Jake gifted me a small pocket knife for my fourteenth birthday which I thought was stupid but I Finna make it useful. Jake kept on smiling. Fucker knew he was better than me. I piled up all the things that made me mad. All Jake. Sure I loved the guy like a brother but over the years a dark side of jealousy has emerged. "Come on lee it's a joke chill" It ain't a joke no more. "Nah it ain't" I got up and straight up stabbed him across the chest and the stomach. Jake kept on screaming he tried to hold me but I had a knife. I stood up looked him straight in the eyes. "Don't fucking mess with me ain't a little kid no more" Blood pouring from his mouth to my floor. At the moment I didn't care but I remembered that's Jake. Before I could help my door opened.
There's a lot of things a mother doesn't want to witness. Mom never liked Jake but the moment she saw his bloody body on the ground I think I wasn't her boy no more. Jake was. She had locked me in the house while she rushed Jake to the hospital she worked. The ambulance sound , the sound of blood coming out , his screams were stuck in my head. What was fucked was I didn't regret what I had done and as every second passed I knew something in me had snapped and said fuck it.
