A Heart's Desire

Chapter 12

Samantha grabbed her shopping bag from the bottom of the stairs and headed up. Entering her room she threw the bag on her bed, grabbed her robe and headed for the shower. Once out, she returned to her room to blow dry and straighten her hair. She glanced over at the clock, it was almost 4:30.

"So I hear you got a hot date tonight?" She spun around to find her brother, Christian standing at her door. "Going out with the ex, huh?"

"Mom or dad?"

"Mom, of course. Dad doesn't understand half of what is going on but mom filled me in on all the details." Christian came into the room and sat on her bed. "But seriously, are you back together with Brett? What about Declan? I really like him."

Samantha spun around in her vanity chair to face her brother, "No we are not back together. He confessed that he was still in love with me though. Wants to take me out to see if something is still there between us. It all took me by surprise really. I spoke to Declan about it and he asked me something that really made me think. Could I say with 100% certainty that it was over with Brett."

"What did you say?"

"Surprisingly, I hesitated. I didn't know what to say. I all of a sudden was at a loss for words."

"And now?"

"Now I just feel confused and uncertain. I'm scared to make the wrong choice. So I'm hoping by going out with Brett tonight it will be clear who I want to be with."

"What happens if it doesn't?"

Leave it to Christian to always ask the hard questions. Growing up whenever Samantha needed advice she would ask both Natalie and Christian. Christian always gave sound advice where most of the time Natalie told her to do what she wanted and then worry about any consequences later. Christian was Samantha's sound of reason.

"I have no idea. Any suggestions?"

"Why do you love Declan? Why have you stayed with him the last two years?"

"Because he is kind, sweet, gentle and he listens when I talk. He might not always agree with me but he never judges me for my opinion. He makes me laugh, he loves to do a lot of the same things as me and he makes me feel safe. When we are apart, I long until I see or talk to him again."

"Ok, I get it," Christian cut her off, "Now why do you care for Brett?"

"Well Brett seems to have changed and grown up into a responsible gentleman. He still makes me giddy like when we were in high school. If he still enjoys doing the same things as before then we have some things in common. I really only know the Brett I dated."

"What I find interesting is that you are trying to compare a relationship that you are currently in and from the sounds of it, are happy with, to a relationship from the past. Maybe it really is time to leave the past behind and live in the present. Just think about that while you are out on your date tonight." Christian got up and headed to the door, "Whatever happens I always have your back but just one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Over the last say nine years, you have never talked about Brett and so I have to assume that you have hardly thought about him too." Christian walked out of her room and headed back downstairs, "Try to at least have some fun without me tonight and do something with your hair."
Samantha laughed at her brother as she got up and closed her bedroom door. She went back to her vanity table and started to do her make-up. As she finished fixing her hair and face, she kept thinking about what her brother had said. Maybe comparing the past and present was not an easy thing to do.