THE STORY OF ANOTHER US

THREE: THE FIRST ENTRY

"I think history is collective memories. In writing, I'm using my own memory, and I'm using my collective memory."

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CHAY

"Have you been sleeping well, Khun Chay?" a voice startled Chay's peaceful trance. He turned and saw the Kittisawat family butler, Greg. He's been serving the family for a long, long time. He even served his father when he was young. Greg is one of the people that he trusts the most. He knew everything about Chay. Greg was there when he was born. He was there when he took his first steps. He was there when he grew up. He was basically there when he grew up. Greg witnesses every aspect of Chay's life, whether in the ups and downs moments of his luscious life. Chay was sure the family butler knew him more than his parents. The young lad was glad that Greg was there for him or else he already lost his mind way, way back.

Chay shook his head and yawned, "Not much." he answered. He propped his hands on the dining table and rested his head on it. "I've been having weird dreams these past few weeks, Greg," he added. The old man settled a plate of lunch in front of Chay. He whispered a soft 'thank you' and devoured his food.

"Perhaps, you should stop watching those horror movies and start reading for once, Khun Chay," Greg said. Chay has a habit of binge-watching these kinds of movies even though he knows he is a scaredy cat. Well, he has not much to do since he's on a summer break. He barely goes outside and is much more comfortable staying home.

Chay sighed, "I don't need your scolding now, Greg. I had enough from Dad the other night." he whined. He can still hear his father's voice ringing in his ears. They had a screaming match after that dinner. His father hates that Chay doesn't seem to be interested in their business which he didn't deny at all. There's no sense to lie when it is the truth. They barely had a father-son relationship and they often argued when they met. That's why his father prefers his brother over him.

Greg remained silent as Chay ate. After a few minutes of silence, the butler spoke, "I forgot to give you a birthday present, Khun Chay." he said.

Chay laughed, "Isn't it a little too late for that? My birthday was months ago, Greg." he said. Chay's birthday wasn't that much special for him. The only people who celebrated his birthday were his brother Porsche and Greg. He didn't expect much from his parents to celebrate with him. They excused themselves because they had an important meeting that day. They just gifted him a new car that Chay was pretty sure he wouldn't use anytime soon. Yet, Chay knew they had just forgotten about his birthday. He was used to it, so it's fine.

"This gift wasn't from me, Khun Chay. It was from your late grandmother. She wanted me to give this to you when you reach the age of 20. I almost forgot about it until I found it yesterday from the library." Greg said. He handed Chay an extremely old diary. "Belated Happy Birthday, Khun Porchay," he added. The greetings somehow give him chills on his skin. The moment he touched the gift, a sense of ownership rushed into him. He felt like he owned it for a long, long time. It felt a sense of companionship with it, like a long-time friend he hadn't seen for a long period of time. It was like this old diary knew him more than himself, more than anyone else in the world. The diary has a vintage look on it. It has thick leathery bounds and the papers were almost peeled off from the notebook. It has letters engraved on it.

K+P

Chay wondered what it meant. It was an odd gift from his grandmother. Chay has a vague memory of her. She would often tell stories to her. Chay likes the story about the lovers who met at the wrong time. Their love was forbidden so they decided to end things together. He can clearly remember how he cried the first time he heard this story. Of course, Chay knew it was fictional, yet he still wished that the lovers would meet again at the right time. Maybe in their next life. It must have been painful loving someone but living in a cruel world.

He could remember how his grandmother would wipe his tears away after telling him that painful story and would whisper, "It's fine, Porchay. This time is the right time." He doesn't understand, but the young Chay just nods before calming himself down. He was curious about it. Why would his grandmother give him an old notebook? But now he needs to set his thoughts aside as Greg is staring at him keenly. Chay smiled at him, "Grandma is still thoughtful even after her death. Thank you for this, Greg." he said. The old butler just bowed down to him and left him to have his lunch.

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The moment Chay was alone in his room with the diary in his hands, he immediately opened it. His world stilled when he read the first page.

Porchay Kittisawat

- May this diary keep our memories as I keep those memories of you and me -

What? Why is his name in this notebook? What memories is it talking about? With a trembling hand, he switched pages. It contains everything about this man named Porchay. Chay was flabbergasted. Every single thing was the same about him, except for their birthdays. What? Why? Chay was extremely confused. He is so sure he hasn't written anything like this before, but it was so similar to him. Even their handwriting was the same. Chay continued to read.

I still remember the night Kimhan approached me. It was my 20th birthday. A party was held at our manor. He sneaked past the guards with ease. He saw me by the balcony where I hid from everyone I did not know. He does not know what party it was, but he and his friends were tempted to join in. I thank the stars he fell into that temptation or else I would not have a chance to know him.

He praised how good I was at playing the piano. He praised how beautiful my eyes were. We talked and talked for hours. We did not even notice the time. We did not notice that the party had ended. All we know is that the sun is about to rise. Within a few hours of knowing him, I knew that Kimhan already got my lonely heart. Kimhan bid his farewell, but I do not want him to go yet. He promised he would be back, but not in our home. Perhaps in some other place. I suggested the lake at the far end of our town. My mother used to bring me there when she was still alive. It was a nice place. It became our special place. Just me and my Kimhan.

Chay closed the notebook the moment he finished the first entry. He was shaking. He clutches the diary in his hands, holding it as if his life depended on it. He felt like a new set of memories was coming into his head. Memories that he hadn't even experienced before. He felt his heart being squeezed. It was painful, but it felt relieving at the same time. Chay doesn't understand. He's having a headache from all of this. It was too much. What is happening to him?

"I-I... I have to r-rest... Y-Yes... T-That's all I need..." Chay mumbled to himself. He wants to cry, but he doesn't know why. Chay kept the diary under his pillow, wanting it close to him. He lay on his bed, still confused as ever. Before going into a deep slumber, a single tear fell from his eye.