Doodles, Thoughts, And More

Rest in Peace, Tofu

*Bird death mentions and dramatic/emotional things?*

My budgie fricking died today *insert 12 thousand crying emojis*

When they said birds hide sicknesses well, holy sht they're right. My Tofu just was laying on his cage JUST TODAY. Like he was fine the other day, now he's... Yeah. I don't know who to tell other than my family so I'm gonna share Tofu's life with y'all.

Tofu is a male budgerigar, aka, budgie, his feather pattering or just his overall color is rainbow. Not the literal rainbow, search it up, they're very pretty. He has his parents who are Kiwi (boy) and Hopia (girl) and yes. They breeded in my keep or something since they're my birds too. Tofu originally had 9 siblings (different batches) but they somehow didn't make it as pink blobs still. Tofu hatched on August 15 last year (2023) and man, was it a fun experience to have him. I wasn't exactly the best bird owner since I'm still a kid but I tried to do the best I could, even sneaking behind my family's back to do risky things. Tofu has splayed leg on his left leg which is a condition a bird could get after hatching due to vitamin deficiency or there wasn't any nesting material available. For Tofu, the nesting material was the reason why. He didn't have any when he first hatched but I anxiously waited til the nesting stuff was there. I was honestly scared to touch him for the first time since he didn't have feathers yet and that I might break him. And to be more honest, I was scared to know how he felt, pretty shallow, right? But I did learn to handle him, ever since he was a baby but for some reason, he didn't exactly like me, biting me but I love him. He lets me pet him too on rare occasions. Once he was fully feathered and a few months old, I did a crazy thing. The place where their cage was at before was open, there were no glass but a big barred window. Kind of like a balcony if the railings were so high. I carefully took Tofu into my hands and when the coast was clear, I opened up my palms to let Tofu practice flying and man, even if it was a short distance, I was so fricking happy and proud of him. I actually feel like crying right now oml. I did it a second time a few weeks or months later and dang, it was even crazier. He was flying like a pro, I was scared he might fly away but no, he was my good boy. He let me put him inside his cage again. But my mum was kinda annoyed when the birds were making a mess inside the balcony place, even when inside the cage (I didnt let Kiwi or Hopia out though. I never did since they weren't really trusting of me and adults) so my mum literally made me put the birds inside the cage that was "bigger". It was bigger vertically which I told my mum budgies don't fly vertically but horizontally but she didn't budge. She meant well since the place was getting dirty but even if, she just made me put the birds in our dirty ass "backyard" in the old vertical cage. She keeps telling me it's bigger but HELL NO. IT ABSOLUTELY WASNT. I was bigger VERTICALLY. NOT HORIZONTALLY. Everytime I go down to feed the birds, I just fricking wish they were in their old cage SO MUCH. It was new and BETTER TOO. WTF. So yeah, after a lot, Tofu died today, July 4th in my country. On a Thursday as well. He hatched Thursday (from what I remember. I wrote it down, don't worry) and left Thursday. My brother and I just buried him while crying like idiots in a potted place since no other soil was available and I also put a gravestone made of paper since I had no idea what to do.

Fly high, Tofu, I'm sorry I couldn't do better. I know "sorry" won't fix things but I don't know, a gravestone and burial was the least I can do for my awful handling of you, Kiwi, Hopia and Juju. I'm so sorry.