francis forever | ellie x reader

Bigot Sandwiches and Social Anxiety

The following morning came by quicker than you thought it would. You were awake for most of the night, still riddled with anxiety about getting caught in conflict last night with that bigot who decided to make his attitude you and Ellie's problem, too. It was your fault, anyways. You were the one who kissed Ellie in front of everyone; after the way she pulled you in for another one she left you wondering what her real feelings were.

When morning came, you were blinded by the sunlight peeking into your room. You were already awake; anxiety never let you sleep very long, and you'd be lucky to get more than four hours. To say it was a nuisance would be an understatement, especially when you have to wake up early in the mornings for patrolling or tending to another sick or injured person. You'd be kept awake from whatever thoughts that were plaguing your mind and in the morning you'd be filled to the brim with doubts that you're doing a good job. Last night seemed worse than it normally was; you were practically glued to your bed with your blanket over you and laying on your side and replaying the familiar feeling of embarrassment over and over again from your panic attack last night.

You were interrupted by a loud and very hasty knock on your door, making you turn your head to look at it. You turned your head back to your nightstand and looked at your clock reading 5:24. You were late. A heat filled your face as the thought creeped up from your amygdala and began swirling all around your brain that you were holding everyone back by being so late. Albeit you knew that other people were late as well, but you also knew they didn't care if they received lip for their tardiness. You did, and that's what matters.

You were close to staying huddled up in bed and letting your anxiety win this time until a familiar and hoarse voice calling out from the other side of your front door.

"Y/n, come on," Ellie called out groggily, lightly banging her fist against the door. Jesse stood next to her, leaning against the wall of your hut and crossing his arms. "We're already late!"

You knew that already. A twinge of annoyance tugged at your heart before you quickly let it go. You realized that you weren't really in any place to be annoyed; especially at Ellie. You sighed before slowly getting up out of bed. Your comforter slid off the mattress and onto the floor, puddling around your feet; you looked down, frowning slightly. You clicked your tongue before leaning down and grabbing it, tossing it over your bed and setting it neatly so that you wouldn't be bothered with it when you come back. After making your bed to look nice and neat knowing you would be messing it up all over again, you shuffled over to your closet and changed out of the clothes you unknowingly wore last night, another wave of heat filling your cheeks as they fall to the floor. You pick your hoodie off of its hanger and slip it on, smelling it to see if you need to out on another spray of perfume. To your dismay, you did. It didn't stink, it just didn't smell like something you concocted to cater to your noses interests. You decided you'd to wait on drowning yourself in perfume until you smell-tested your cargo pants too; fortunately they still smelled like the last time you put on your strawberries and honey perfume with those pants. You spent the next few minutes gathering up your clothes and your black beanie just to keep your ears warm, your gloves too, your backpack, spraying on your perfume, and patching your medical badge on your right sleeve. You tied your bootlaces into double knots before finally opening the door right as Ellie was about to bang on it again.

Ellie and Jesse stood there outside your door, talking about something which you couldn't hear from behind the door for the time it was still shut. You looked at the both of them, your eyes shifting between the two of them before ultimately landing on Ellie. A smile tried working its way onto your lips, the corner of your mouth stretching into a tiny grin as you watched small specks of snow catching onto her auburn hair. And then you're reminded of how last night ended; embarrassment slowly slid up your spine and spreading goosebumps across your skin. Lucky your arms were covered; you could already tell your arm hairs were standing up straight.