All the things you don't expect || JEONGCHAN

Miserable (You & Me)

Miserable (You & Me) • Han Jisung

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Some time ago:

Jeongin's P.O.V.:

Jeongin was staring at the liliac cieling of his room like It could give him all the answers to his questions. He often spaced out like this, getting lost in his thoughts while laying on the perfectly done bed in his perfectly tidy room, all of his house was perfect honestly, even the people who lived in It.
Everything and everyone was perfect, everyone but him.
He wasn't perfect as the people wanted him to be, as his parents wanted him to be, as the society wanted him to be.
Be wasn't perfect at all.
On the contrary, he was a chaos of a person and he hated himself for not being the way the Word wanted him to be.
Materialistically speaking he didn't miss anything, he had all he could ever want, and sentimentally, even if he had a boyfriend, he often didn't feel like he had one.
He wasn't an ungrateful boy, he knew Soobin loved him, he told him once when they got together two years ago, but deep down he longed for more.
He longed for more than a mere relationship in the Shadow, he knew It was selfish of him but he felt a pang in the heart every time Soobin ignored his existence at school, every time he looked at him but he wasn't even sparing a glance towards Jeongin, too occupied with his friends.
He told himself countless time he was fine, that everything was okay, too many times to actually believe to these worlds, now meaningless to the boy.
Again It was selfish of him to hope in more attention, but in reality all that Jeongin wanted was to be treasured, to hang out with him in public, to be showed off proudly.
Of course he and Soobin had dates in the past, but they never went outside together, not even to buy groceries, let alone to go on a date.
Jeongin loved the dates he had with his boyfriend, he loved everything about them but how they ended: with Jeongin screaming out of his lungs for
Soobin to stop, but never he ever stopped before finishing satisfied inside of the younger boy which at that point was a crying mess, and not out of pleasure. But the worst part was the pratically inexistent after-care. The younger one was always left naked on the bed, covered in dirt and dried tears while his supposed lover was having a shower, then Soobin would always leave, leaving another piece of Jeongin's heart to break.

Said boy woke up to reality when the alarm clock rang, 16:44 It said, and Jeongin panicked because in about two hours he had one of the so called 'date' with his boyfriend that was coming over.
Jeongin immediately washed himself and did his makeup routine.
He opened his closet, trying to find something nice to put on.
After a few minutes of searching a pink skirt caught his eye, and he was tempted to put It on, but he suddenly remembered the last time he did so.
It was about six months ago, Jeongin went shopping with Seungmin and Felix and he bought a baby blue skirt thinking to please his boyfriend since he saw Soobin looking at girls with skirts. Turned out that was the worst decision of Jeongin's life: Soobin got mad and yelled at the youngest that he was disgusting, a pig and a fag.
That day was sculptred in Jeongin's head: It was the first time Soobin insulted and hit him.
At the sole thought the boy felt his legs go numb and he sat on the Edge of his bed, waiting for the horrible sensation to go away.
When It eventually did, the fox like boy got up and chose a black pair of ripped jeans, an oversize white t-shirt and a pair of All Stars to wear, then he looked at the time, 18:45, in fifteen minutes Soobin should've bene there.
Problem Is, he never was, he never came, and Jeongin eventually fell asleep from exhaustion on the couch, tears still falling from his closed eyes.

When he woke up, the boy was still there, he checked his phone and saw no messages from everyone, not even one from Soobin, at least to explain why he never came and apologize for it. With a sigh he gave up and started to get ready to go to school.

"IN-AH! " Felix shout was heard all across the school, making everyone turning to the trio, half annoyed half curious.
Jeongin, feeling everybody's stares piercing him, blushed in embarassement and hid his face in his hands.
Making sure the people there weren't minding his business anymore, he told the two about yesterday events, making them hate his boyfriend even more.
"I don't r-really know what's w-wrong, lately he's been e-even more distant than before, completely ig-ignoring me...
He-hell he doesn't even r-reply to my messages any-anymore...."
"Love this all situation isn't good for you... You're not happy...." Commented Felix
"Felix Is right Innie, you can't go on like this, you and that dickhead should at least talk things out " Seungmin agreed.
"And if you break up with him it's even better!" Jeongin bursted out laughing at the fact that the two said the last sentence together, and for them not to disagree on something was a unique event.
"O-okay, you g-guys are right! I'll t-talk to h-him! B-but at lunch b-break!"
"THAT'S OUR BOY " they shouted making the fox like boy laugh again.

To be honest Jeongin did not expect at all what he was seeing. Well maybe if he did he wouldn't have been so broken, crying his lungs out while running away to the only place he knew abandoned at school : the roof.
The boy slammed the door, not caring at all of someone heard him, the only thing he cared about at the moment was his broken heart.
Understand him guys, he just felt his Word crumble seeing his boyfriend making out with Sana in the school's bathroom. And he definitely did not expect Soobin to notice him, break up with him saying that Jeongin's a disgusting fag, used by him only for his parent's wealth, and the girl of course had to remind him that Soobin Is hers and he Is only a fat nerdy pig that nobody could ever love. To think that he was there to talk with the boy and offer him a muffin as a sign of peace.

And if this seems Jeongin's worst day, well, the day's not finished and to worsen the situation a voice behind the crying boy cursed out loud, making Jeongin tremble when he saw who It was: Chan.
He stood before Jeongin, black tight t-shirt, black cargos and full of piercings and chains. Face like stone, gazing the younger boy like he wanted to kill him, his plump lips in a soft frown.
And if Jeongin wasn't so afraid of being beaten, he would've certainly thought that the other boy was absolutely gorgeous, a greek god.
But of course, Jeongin didn't want to die so soon, so, not trusting his voice, he did the only thing he could to survive: with a trembling hand, he offered the other the muffin he was holding.