BROKEN VOW TRILOGY: 3 (Last Broken Vow)

16: Rome Castellano

" help me "

" I love you.."

He whisper as he settle his head on my shoulder.

I pant slowly as tears come out in the side of my eyes. It flow freely unto the sides of my face.

I close my eyes as I feel him unmount me. I can hear his slow breathing as I am also trying to calm down my senses.

These past days, the bad Lance dissapear like a bubble. Replaced with Lancelot, that is why I am left to do this with him..over and over again.

But what I am having with the bad Lance is so much different with what Lancelot been letting me to experience.

This is not sex anymore. This is more than that.

He was so gentle, caring and slow. Patient and even kind.

Sometimes there are days that I believe that this is him the real Lance..not the other version.

I feel so safe when I'm with him.

For I know he will not do anything stupid when I'm with him.

But the truth would always wake me up in my reverie. This is not real. He is not real.

Sooner or later, the other versions of Lance will come out. James who hates me because of Gio. The good Lance who's always afraid of himself. And the bad Lance who claim to be the real one, that I presume the one who killed those two other girls.

" I dream about you last night Rome."

We are both staring now the ceiling of this room.

" I was about to jump in a bridge, then you came to me smiling like an angel. You save me on that dream Rome."

Mapait akong napangiti.

" Yan ba yung dahilan kung bakit mo ako mahal? "

He did not answer.

I want to hear that he loves me..truly. Even if how many times he said that to me, and how he always proves that especially in this room, but still I can't afford to convince myself that it's really true. Knowing deep inside of him..is somewhat not true.

" Siguro..pero alam kong mahal na kita dati bago mo ako niligtas sa panaginip na yun." He sound like very sure with what he said, and I want to believe that he is really sure with what he feel about me.

Shit Rome. May plano ka di ba?

This is not the right moment to be distracted.

Naooverwhelmed ka lang sa pinaparamdam sa'yo ni Lancelot pero hindi pa'rin nun mababago ang katotohanan na hindi siya totoo.

Dahil yung totoong Lance Santibañez ay isang mamamatay tao. At kapag nagising na yung tunay na Lance, lahat ng ito ay magbabago. Lahat ng ito ay mawawala nalang bigla.

Kaya dapat focus ka lang sa goal mo. Wag mo hayaang lamunin ka ng mga damdaming hindi mo naman dapat maramdaman.

" Rome..I know my other versions are not that appealing to you. But believe me, if you think I am not the real one, I want you to know that this is really the true me. It is just that sometimes, I losen up. I get lost, but I promise that I will always come back for you as a whole. The man who loves you more than my life."

F*ck.

If he was a liar, I'll be his first willing victim. I'll choose to be fooled knowing what he said is so much my heart can handle. I admit, this is what my heart wants to hear.

No one ever makes me feel how Lancelot has been letting me feel these past weeks.

How I wish ...the real Lance would not come back. Na sana.. ito na talaga yung totoong Lance.