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back-patter

Minjeong was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder since she was fifteen from many painful events. But, thankfully, she got Jimin to pat her back.

***From true story (without a 'Jimin')***

//

Minjeong was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when she was fifteen. She wasn't as messed up as this before, but if you could rewind time, it all started when she was still a kid.

Got bullied by the kids from her kindergarten, but at that time, she was stupid enough not to understand what she was actually going through.

Primary school seems fine to her. She once fought her best friend there, but they became bestie again the next day.

High school.

The worst events out of all, also where this disorder started. Minjeong knew herself enough that she wasn't so straight to begin with. In fact, she got small feelings for her own best friend, Ningning. Her best friend for three years.

Minjeong never confesses. She wouldn't dare to. Ningning was known as one of the straightest girls in school. She despise every lesbo, and she was a strong homophobic.

But indeed, actions speak louder than words. Ningning caught why Minjeong being so kind and sweet to her all these years. When she learnt the truth behind everything, Ningning started to despise her, horribly.

Imagine, your own best friend who was before by your side all the time, laughing with you and be there with you through thick and thin, now despising you like the dirtiest, filthiest, the most sinful, disgusting, human being she've ever met.

When Minjeong standing right next to the Chinese, Ningning would ran away and switch places with another students. When they walk into one another, Ningning would roll her eyes in disgust. Of course, Ningning would talk sick about her to everyone. Isn't that considered bullying?

It was her bestfriend.

Ningning was her bestfriend.

Do you know how Minjeong felt at that time, being treated like a non-existent, filthy human?

"Baby?"

Remembering those times, it was hard for Minjeong to breath. She remembered how she went in and out of counselling eight times in four months for that problems. She remembered every letters she sent Ningning saying how sorry she was would ended up in the trash.

"Baby?"

She remembered clearly when her mom knew about her fights with Ningning, her mom told her how childish she was for fighting with friends. Even her older sister agreed with her mom. No one supported her at that time.

"Minjeong?"

Then, college comes and it ain't got better. The way Ningning treated her like a non-existent stucked inside her minds forever. She got extremely anxious from any wrongs she ever did to her friends, afraid that they will treat her the same as Ningning did. But college treat her dirty too.

"Kim Minjeong?"

Her friends in college let out their anger on her for the mistake of someone else. Another friend used her for granted. Minjeong used to cut her arms (not enough to make it bleeding heavily), puching her fists on walls and stones just to make it swollen and blue. She ended up with no friends for one year and a half in college, not until she met—

"Kim Minjeong!" Jimin's words snapped Minjeong to reality before the younger girl turned her head towards her girlfriend in trembling eyes and ragged breath.