So What Now? | TSLOCG

water over the bridge

Lucky for us, Nico's frat was throwing a party to celebrate their parents going back home, and it had been going on long enough that no one noticed us slipping in.

The second we made it inside, Leighton and I slipped into the kitchen where she pulled a pack of White Claws out from the fridge, and a bottle of Titos.

"They keep the good stuff up here," She explained as she poured us shots.

I took one off the counter. "You spend a lot of time here?" I asked, before downing the shot.

She shrugged, staring at the party outside the kitchen door. "Mostly just when my parents used to make me come visit. I'm... I don't know. I just don't always love these parties."

I nodded understandingly, placing my empty shot glass down as Leighton downed her own. We repeated the process again, and by the third shot I was feeling a little better.

"No offense to you, but your brother kind of sucks," I giggled, grabbing a White Claw and popping it open.

"Oh, none taken. He totally sucks," Leighton laughed with me, downing a final shot before grabbing a White Claw. "I'd rather not talk about him, though."

I nodded in understanding, taking a long sip from my can as a Tyler The Creator song echoed through the house. "Understood. What should we talk about, then?" I asked, leaning against the counter behind me.

"I mean. We could talk about... you know," Her voice trailed off, as she glanced over at me.

I shook my head, pouring myself a shot. "I say we just... leave that in the past! I'm over it if you are."

"I'm not, though," Leighton gave me a more serious look, placing her White Claw down.

"Come on, Leight," I laughed a bit, downing the shot. "Let's not do this right now. We're having fun."

"Maddy, it's gonna come up eventually," She fidgeted with a bracelet on her wrist. "Why not get it over with now?"

I couldn't look up at her. I'd thought we'd had a mutual agreement to not bring it up; to just stay out of each other's way. "There's nothing to say. Can't we just, like, get wasted and hold each other's hair while we puke?"

"Nothing to say? You could start with sorry, Maddy," Her words were just starting to slur, the way they always did when she drank.

"I am sorry, Leighton," I meant it as I said it, and I hoped she believed it. "But I don't... I don't think it matters. It was all just a bit mistake, I-"

"What was?" She interrupted, staring at me so intensely I thought I might break a sweat. "A mistake, I mean. What was a mistake?"

"What?" I shook my head, confused. "All of it was, Leighton. Everything I did."

She nodded thoughtfully, considering my words. "So, does that include..." She didn't finish her thought, as a drunk couple made their way into the kitchen, making out loudly.

"Uhm. Is that our sign to go?" I asked, secretly grateful for the excuse to end the conversation.

"Sure. I mean, you're always looking for a sign to go, right Maddy?" Leighton's voice was cold, though a sarcastic smile was on her face.

"That's not fair," I began, though I didn't have much to defend myself.

"Isn't it, though?" Leighton rolled her eyes, downing the remainder of her can. "I'm going out. Don't try to call."

"Come on, Leighton. Don't be ridiculous," I followed behind her as she started towards the door. "It's, like, the middle of the night, and you did at least three too many shots."

She ignored me, pushing past everyone in the living room. "Come on, Leighton!" I reached out for her arm as she made it out the front door, and past the bouncer.

"Get off of me!" She stumbled away, her heels wobbling.

"Just come back to the dorm, Leighton," I pleaded, my own vision starting to spin. "I'll sleep somewhere else, if you want."

She shook her head. "Why do you care? Let me go."

"Because I-" I paused, my voice cracking before I could finish the sentence. "I don't want you to get, like, kidnapped, or something. I care about."

She sped up, but her heels got caught on a rock, and she tripped. "Fuck!" She exclaimed from the ground.

I helped her up, much to her dismay, and brought her back to the dorm. When we got into our room, Leighton immediately sat down on her bed, struggling to take off her heels. I changed out of my dress and into a sweatshirt, then started grabbing my pillows to go sleep on the couch.

"Just sleep in here," Leighton said, breaking the silence. "Please."

"Are you sure?" I wasn't sure I even wanted to. I'd been ignoring everything from the last few years, but now that she'd brought it all up, I was finding it more difficult not to think about it when I looked at her.

She nodded, taking her contacts out and tossing them into the trash by her bed. "I don't want to be alone."

"Okay," She didn't speak again until I'd shut off the lights, and was nearly asleep.

"I missed you," Is all she whispered. I pretended to be asleep.