********************
"Welcome freshies!"
The voice of the host together with the upbeat music echoed through the stadium. My ears, along with my classmates', were not bothered by it. Instead we celebrate our first day as a first year college student as was advised by the seniors we encountered earlier. Ang payo sa amin ng mga ate at kuya namin na nasa ikaapat na taon na ng PolSci ay sulitin daw bawat oras dahil 'di magtatagal ay magugulat ka na lang na wala nang apoy sa kandilang iniingatan mo. Balak ko sana magtanong kung ano ang gagawin kapag ako mismo ang nagpatay sa apoy ko, pero syempre sabi ng social anxiety ko hindi pwede. Shut it. Parangal ni fear sa loob ng utak ko.
"Te pwede ilayo mo 'yang pink na electricfan mo? Lumilipad bangs ko."
I was surprised when my classmate tapped me on the shoulder and started talking to me, raising her brows. Ayokong tinatarayan ako kasi ako lang dapat ang may karapatan.
"May space naman diyan sa kaliwa mo, umusog ka."
Hindi ko mapigilan ang dila ko, lumabas agad ang true colors ko sa uanng araw pa lang namin. She chose to mind her business but she mumbled something under her breath and I assumed it was about me.
"Guys! Attendance daw tapos pwede na umuwi after the event."
After the event, I rushed towards my classmate who was assigned to hold the attendance paper. Nag unahan pa kami ng bitchesang may bangs kong kaklase sa pila. Of course, I was the first in the queue. I was smiling inside my head, feeling proud of the childish act I'd done. But when I was about to sign the paper, I hesitated, wondering if I should use the Hello Kitty ballpen designed with pink feathers that I was holding. Baka kasi anong sabihin ng mga classmate ko kung gagamitin ko ito, iniwan ko kasi ang pencil case ko dahil first day pa naman.
The person who was assigned to hold the attendance paper patted my shoulders.
"Ano pangalan mo?"
"Apolonia, why?"
"Oh iisang ballpen lang gamitin dito ah! Gamitin niyo nalang ballpapen ni Apolonia."
Iniwan ko ang Hello Kitty ballpen ko sa lamesa matapos pumirma at umalis na sa pila. Nagmamadali ang mga paa ko na lumabas ng gymnasium pero itong bitchesang nasa likod ko ay umandar nanaman ang walang hiya niyang bunganga.
"First day of kindergarten ata napasukan mo girl, naligaw ka ata?"
She was holding back her laughter, trying hard to maintain her cold expression, as if to intimidate me. Their playful giggles subsided when I raised my brow at them. If I were still in high school, my reaction to this would be different. In the past, my pathological people-pleasing ass would have just joined them in laughing. People are just annoying, it is hard to deal with them nowadays. Or maybe it's just me.
"Biro lang eh."
Dagdag niya pa na akala mo naman ay sisinghalan ko pa siya. I walked away, ignoring their murmurs. I took out my phone when it vibrated. The group chat announced that classes would start tomorrow instead since the event ended kind of late. I smiled to myself because I had been daydreaming to lie in bed all day. I opened my bag to get my wallet and check if I had enough money to buy some sweets, because this ovulation cycle is eager to make me look like I have a big back. Gumaan ang loob ko nang meron pa akong natitirang pera.
As I walked quickly to get the best seat on the bus, I saw a familiar person sitting next to it. Great! Nandito ang mokong. Iiwasan ko sana ang "best seat" kuno, pero sa isang iglap lang ay puno na agad ng mga pasahero ang bus. Anak ng- grabe kamalas. I have no choice but to sit beside him. Luckily, nakatingin siya sa bintana at nakikinig lang sa earpods niya. But I know damn well he noticed my presence. Mahinhin akong umupo doon at kinuha rin ang earpods ko na nabili ko sa tiyange. Nakakahiya suotin kasi iyong akin umiilaw tapos iyong kaniya ay hindi. I just rolled my eyes at the thought of it. I mean, it's not like he will look at me. Halatang iniiwasan niya naman ako.
The whole ride, my eyes were focused on my phone, scrolling through Twitter. I froze when he removed his earpods and abruptly grabbed his phone. Medyo malakas ang brightness ng phone niya kaya nakikita ko kung ano ang tinitignan niya. I fought the urge not to be nosy, but my curious cat betrayed me. Ang mga daliri ko'y nag-scroll sa aking cellphone, ngunit ang aking mga chismosang mata ay nakatingin sa cellphone niya.
He was backreading his friends' conversations in their group chat before replying. I suddenly laughed when I saw the name of their group chat: "Davao's City Jail Gangsters."
Nagulat siya sa tawa ko kaya nagkunwari akong may nakitang meme sa cellphone ko. He shrugged it off and turned to face sideways instead. Aba, pinagmukha akong dakilang chismosa! Though totoo, pero ang kapal? I gasped while raising my brows at his back. Nakataas ang kanang kilay ko buong biyahe dahil sa ginawa niya. Ampota, gangster daw pero tumatawid sa pedestrian lane.
The bus arrived at my place already. Nagmamadali akong lumabas at tumayo na habang hinihintay ang paglabas ng ibang pasahero. Sinulyapan ko saglit si Elias bago kunin ang aking bag. His deadpan look already conveyed that he had no intentions of interacting with me anymore. I reciprocated his expression just to let him know that I also had no intentions of starting a conversation with him.
The slightly dimmed street lights added a peaceful atmosphere as I walked home. Wala namang masasamang tao nakapalibot dito dahil low-key gated community naman ang subdivision at kung mayroon man, huwag muna ngayon dahil may paparating akong parcel.
I was lost in thought when I suddenly remembered that I forgot to pay for my fare. I hurriedly ran towards the terminal, hoping that the bus was still there. Sa buong tatlumpung minuto ko na biyahe hindi sumagi sa isip ko ang magbayad. I felt guilty while walking back home. Nagtagpo ang mga kilay ko habang iniisip ang katangahan na ginawa ko. Napagtanto ko na sobrang abala ako sa kanyang presensya kaya siguro nawala sa isipan ko ang magbayad. Pero hindi lang iyon ang naunawaan ko habang naglalakad pauwi. Naisip ko rin na kahit kibit-balikat na lang ako sa ideyang hindi na kami mag-uusap ulit, sumasabit parin ako sa isipan na mayroong pag-asa na maayos namin muli ang anumang hidwaan sa pagitan naming dalawa.
********************
BINABASA MO ANG
Funny Valentine
Romance"I remember those days when people called our relationship 'puppy love' because we were so young to be in love back then." "Oh, they have no idea."