Rose in moonlight

Part 5

"kamusta tennis niyo ni jace?"

Tanong ni abby saakin.

It's sunday and it's almost dark,nasa pool area kami kasama mga kabigan namin,naka handa nung mga towels,chairs,table,snacks and drinks,nasa pool kami lahat at may hawak na drink's,si mommy nasa taas at si kuya naman nasa study room kasama mga tropa pero hindi na namin sila nakita dahil nasa court kami nung iba nag volleyball and nung iba nag tennis,kanina nadito si aria and ky pero umalis din sila agad dahil busy.

Nung gamit nila nasa guests room,dito daw sila matutulog at sabay sabay kami pupunta school bukas pero hiwalay ng kotse.

"Okay lang naman, enjoyable"I honestly answered her question.

"What about feelings?"muntik na ako mabulunan doon ah,naubo tuloy ako.

Hindi ko masabi kung tama nung sinabi ni sam na love, I mean comfortable ako kasama siya,may parang sparks and kinikilig ako kapag nadiyan siya, pero sa tigin ko hindi yun love saguro mga crush lang,and ayaw ko masaktan ulit dahil sa past relationship ko and my father,pero ang alam ko ay may something ako nararamdaman kay jace hindi ko lang ma explain.

"Let's not force her to tell us"sabi ni hayden,nahalata niya ako na confused pa ako sa nararamdaman ko.

"Confused siya yan,minsan kasi nung akala natin love pero hindi pala sa huli masasaktan ka pero dala dala mo parin yun at mahal mo pa"sabi ni gab bago uminom ng drink,I looked at some of my friends and I they are realizing on what gab said.

Ganon ba talaga yun?, nung mamahalin mo talaga pero masasaktan ka sa huli, naging lesson nalang saakin nung last relationship ko at dadalhin ko yun para maging daan ko para maka punta ako sa better man, pero need ko dalhin nung toxicity and how I got hurt to much.

I wanted to find a man that is ready to be with me even my past me.

A man will always love me.

A relationship with good broke up but will come back soon.

A man will agree and can handle the break up and not forcing me to stay but he is ready to be with me again.

A man will never remind me of my father and my last relationship.

Like in wattpad friction sana ganon ang next relationship ko,a man will come back when our destiny said it's time to go back to each other's arms.

Pero kaya ko ba mag patawad kahit masakit?

I only felt anger towards my father and my last relationship. I still didn't forgive them, pero what if dadarating yun pinaka masakit na mangyayari pinatadhana saakin?,mas masakit pa sa dati.

Will I forgive and forget what happened?,I don't want to live in the darkness again kahit nadiyan nung mga kabigan ko, they can fix and help me but I can't promise that I will be fixed easily.

"Malalim ata iniisip mo"sabi ni seb saakin, nahalata niya ata na may iniisip ako, hindi ko narinig nung pinag uusapan nila dahil sa mga what if's ko.

"Do you think I can forgive and forget?"tanong ko sakanya,pareho kami ni seb nasa toxic relationship dati but in different ways, if he can forgive and forget the girl hurt him, will I also forgive and forget?.

"Soon, at alam ko yan, dahil nasa lahi mo yan, mana mana kayo ni sam sa kuya mo,your kuya is a forgiving person at alam ko ganon din kayo,kaya mo yan pero hindi ngayon"sabi niya bago umalis at pumunta sa mga kabigan namin.

"Paano ka naka move on?"sunod na tanong ko,si kuya hindi pa nag ka girlfriend kaya hindi ko matatanong tungkol sa love si kuya,kaya si seb nalang dahil pareho kam and same vibes kami.