Echoes of the Lost

I've got it all under control

I've got it all under control.
Just breathe in slowly,
then let it go.
Breathe out softly,
and pause.
Repeat these steps,
Until you catch your breath,
Though it's tough when air won't reach your blood's depths.

I've got it all under control.
I just need to get my thoughts under control.
Breathe in slowly,
then release the hold.
I need to tame the chaos in my soul.
Breathe out gently,
let peace unfold.
Repeat these steps,
Until calm is restored,
Though it's tough when air won't reach your blood's depths.

I've got it all under control.

I should do more, or I'll never be enough.
Don't say no
I don't want them to be mad.
Can't disappoint, must uphold their dreams.
Reach all their goals and never complain when it's too much.

Stay silent, speak only when asked,
Be the epitome of grace!
Apologize, even when the fault's not mine,
Keep opinions quiet,
Can't risk a slip,
Must always seem tight-lipped.
Quiet, my thoughts must appear strong.
Never let tears fall.

Breathe in, breathe out,
Maintain the facade; don't let doubts out.
I've got it all under control,
Balancing on this endless tightrope.

"I've got it all under control" must be the biggest lie I ever told.

Nobody cares if you're depressed unless it starts to impact your life,
If you can't rise or manage the day's tasks.
Nobody notices your depression if you keep up with their demands and meet each pressing request.
Then, nobody minds if, beneath it all, you're a mess.
And when I seek help, they assure me I'm fine,
"Just take a deep breath. You'll be alright; you've got a strong mind. Strong girls like you don't cry. Remember, everything always turns out alright."

So I nod, and I smile,
I keep the war in my mind out of sight,
Carrying the weight quietly while I crumble inside,
Barely holding the line.
I mask the chaos in my mind with a laugh, pretending I'm just fine.
Yet in the quiet moments, when the world fades to black,
I face the reality,
I feel the full attack.
And I try to breathe in slowly,
I attempt to calm the storm inside,
And I breathe out slowly,
With a white flag in my trembling hand,
But peace slips away like sand.

Breath in
Breath out

Each breath is a struggle, the calm fleeting,
As I search for peace that keeps retreating.
And in these quiet moments,
The battle remains unseen,
Leaving me hoping for relief, for a break in the routine.

Breath!

"I've got it all under control" must be the biggest lie I ever told.