Deception and Desire

Chapter 14

-Namjoon's Pov-

A month has passed and somehow I started regaining my memories back. The Seokjin I knew back then seemed so different...but I couldn't deny I love him now...he has always been looking out for me and making me feel loved and safe...but now I don't really feel safe with him.

-Seokjin's Pov-

Days turned into weeks, and each moment without Namjoon felt like an eternity. I had lost him, and the emptiness was unbearable. The obsession, the madness, it was consuming me from the inside out. But I couldn't give up. I had to get him back, no matter what it took.

I spent every waking hour trying to improve myself, to become the person Namjoon deserved. I read books on relationships, sought advice from friends, and even started therapy to understand my behavior. I wanted to show him that I could change, that I was willing to do anything to make things right.

But the pain of his absence was too much to bear. There were nights when I would sit alone in our apartment, staring at his empty chair, and the loneliness would overwhelm me. In those moments, I felt a darkness creeping in, and I found myself doing things I never thought I would.

One night, the pain became too intense, and I found myself standing in front of the mirror, tears streaming down my face. I grabbed a pair of scissors and pressed them against my skin, feeling a momentary relief as the pain shifted from my heart to my body. It was a twisted form of solace, a way to distract myself from the agony of missing him.

The next day, I woke up with bandages on my arms and a renewed determination. I had to show Namjoon that I was changing, that I was becoming a better person. I cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, cooked his favorite meals, and left messages and gifts at his doorstep. I wanted him to see how much I loved him, how much I was willing to do for him.

-Namjoon's Pov-

The messages and gifts from Seokjin kept coming, and each one tugged at my heart. I could see he was trying to change, but the memory of his obsession still haunted me. I missed him, but I was scared of falling back into the same toxic pattern.

One evening, I received a message that broke me.

"Namjoon, please come back. I'm trying my best to be better for you, but I can't do this alone. I love you more than anything. Please."

Attached was a photo of Seokjin, his arms bandaged and his eyes filled with pain. My heart clenched at the sight. I couldn't bear the thought of him hurting himself because of me.

I decided to visit him, to see if there was a way we could work things out. When I arrived at our apartment, I found him sitting on the floor, surrounded by photos of us and letters he had written. He looked up as I entered, his eyes wide with surprise and hope.

"Namjoon..." he whispered, standing up. "You came."

I nodded, my throat tight with emotion. "Hyung, I can't stand to see you like this. We need to talk."

-Seokjin's Pov-

Seeing Namjoon standing there, looking at me with those beautiful eyes, I felt a glimmer of hope. I rushed to him, but stopped myself, keeping a respectful distance.

"Namjoon, I know I've hurt you. I've been trying to change, to become someone you can trust. But this pain... it's unbearable. I need you. Please, give me a chance."

He looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness and compassion. "Hyung, I can see you're trying, but hurting yourself isn't the answer. I care about you too much to watch you do this."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know how else to cope with losing you."

He stepped closer, taking my hands in his. "We can work on this together. But you need to promise me you'll stop hurting yourself. We need to build a healthy relationship, one based on trust and love, not obsession."

I nodded, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "I promise, Namjoon. I'll do anything to make this right. Just... please don't leave me."

He pulled me into a hug, and I felt the warmth of his embrace seep into my soul. "I'm here, hyung. We'll figure this out together."

As I held him, I felt a sense of hope for the first time in weeks. Maybe, just maybe, we could find our way back to each other and build a love that was stronger and healthier than before. I was willing to do anything to make that happen.