Billie Eilish Imagines - GXG

L'AMOUR DE MA VIE

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Billie sat on the edge of her bed, the familiar weight of regret pressing down on her chest. The room was dim, the only light coming from the streetlight outside her window, casting a soft glow across the floor. She stared at her hands, turning them over as if searching for answers in the lines of her palms.

It had been months since she and Y/n had broken up, but the memories still haunted her. The words they had exchanged, the promises made and broken, played on a loop in her mind. She had tried to move on, but something kept pulling her back, forcing her to confront the truth she had buried so deep.

Billie closed her eyes, the image of Y/n's tear streaked face appearing in the darkness. She could still hear the desperation in her voice, the way she had pleaded for her to stay. "I can't survive without you, Billie. You're the love of my life."

At the time, those words had felt like chains, binding her to a relationship that had long since lost its spark. She had wanted to believe that she thought the same, that their love was real and true. But deep down, she knew it wasn't. She had lied to herself and to Y/n, hoping that if she said the words enough, they would become true.

But they never did.

"I never loved you," Billie whispered to the empty room, her voice cracking under the weight of her confession. It was a truth she had never said aloud, not even to herself. "I never loved you, and I told you I did."

The guilt was overwhelming. She had stayed in the relationship out of fear, not wanting to break Y/n's heart. She had thought she was doing the right thing, that she was protecting Y/n from the pain of rejection. But in the end, she had only caused more hurt.

And then there was the betrayal.

Y/n had moved on so quickly as if their years together had meant nothing. Billie had seen the photos on social media, the smiling faces, the new lover who had taken her place. It was like a knife to the heart, a clear reminder of how easily she had been replaced.

"Was any of it real?" Billie asked the silence, tears streaming down her face. She had given so much of herself, sacrificed her own happiness, and for what? A lie? A relationship built on false promises and misplaced feelings?

She remembered the nights she had spent lying awake, questioning her sanity, wondering if she was the problem. She had blamed herself for everything, convinced that her own issues were the cause of their problems. But now, with the clarity that only time and distance could bring, she saw the truth.

It wasn't her fault.

The relationship had been doomed from the start, built on a foundation of lies and emotional manipulation. Y/n had made her feel guilty for wanting to leave, had trapped her in a web of promises and declarations of undying love. But none of it had been real. Not for Billie, and maybe not even for Y/n.

"I just wanted to be happy," Billie said, her voice barely louder than a whisper. "But all I got was pain."

She wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath. She had to let go of the past, to forgive herself for the mistakes she had made. It was the only way she could truly move on

"I deserve better," she said, a newfound resolve in her voice. "I deserve to be happy."

As she stood up and walked to the window, she felt a sense of relief wash over her. The road ahead wouldn't be easy, but for the first time in a long time, she felt a glimmer of hope.

And that was enough.

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