This World That Divides Us

CHAPTER 29

Before tonight, I never had a sip of alcohol. I was always afraid of breaking the rules or doing something that went against what was expected of me. But tonight, I don't care. I'm so exhausted from doing right by everyone. I work my ass off at school, deal with people like Jordana Hastings, and for what? To have my long-lost mother show up at my door and pretend like she hasn't been missing from my life for the last 13 years?

"Lucy said a bunch of people are at the beach for a bonfire," I hear Peyton whisper to Molly. She clearly doesn't want me to know because she's shielding her phone from me, but I'm on high alert tonight, so I make out every word that she speaks.

"Oooooh, let's go!" I exclaim.

"Good job, Peyton," Molly sarcastically says before looking at me. "The only place you're going, Stassie, is home. To bed."

"You're going to let her dad see her like this?" Peyton asks.

"We have no choice, P. I'd bring her back to my house but my parents are there hosting their friends."

"You guys, I'm fine," I say. "Don't treat me like a child, and don't act like you've never been in my shoes before. I had two drinks and a really shitty day. I can't go home right now, and I promise that I won't drink for the rest of the night. Just...let me live a little."

I notice Molly glancing at Peyton, who shrugs her shoulders. "Fine," Molly huffs, sticking her index finger in the air. "But no more drinking."

We Uber to the beach, and I haven't sobered up yet. I'm not drunk, but I'm also not thinking with 100-percent clarity.

There are more people here than I expected, around 50, give or take. It's mid-October, so there's a breeze in the air, but it's still nice enough outside to be wearing a jean jacket or light sweater.

Speaking of a light sweater, I see Henry from a distance wearing a gray hoodie. He's talking to Shawn, and I nudge Molly's shoulder. "Your man's here."

"Shhh," Molly tells me.

"Oops," I giggle, but by the look on Molly's face right now, she's not finding it all that funny.

"Should we do a lap around, ladies? See who's here?" Molly asks in an effort to change the subject.

My eyes immediately start scoping the area for Jack, and I hate that I care to find him. I hate it even more that I hope he's here.

The bonfire is pretty small, so it only takes me a few minutes to spot him. And when I do, I notice Jordana standing right beside him. It's just the two of them talking, and while it should settle me that Jack looks somewhat uninterested in whatever she's spewing, it still hurts.

Jordana says something else before turning around to walk away, but before she can, Jack reaches for her hand and then says something else to her. She smiles back at him, and the entire sight stings so badly that I have to look anywhere else. I don't know why he stopped her from walking away or what he said to her, all I know is that I hate it. I hate every single bit of it.

He finally lets her go, and that's when he looks my way. Our eyes lock, and as tempted as I am to not give him the satisfaction of me staring at him, I can't. He seems surprised but also sad to see me, and I don't know which emotion I prefer from him at this point.

I keep my eyes on him because they say it all and I want him to know what I'm feeling.

It hurts to see you with her. Does it show?

I turn my head when you reach for her. Is it obvious?

I think I'd give up the world for you. Can you tell?