This World That Divides Us

CHAPTER 39

I can't believe he let me go. Just like that.

I'm curled underneath my covers, but I have yet to fall asleep. How can a girl dream when her mind's been racing?

Ugh, loving Jack ruins everything. But, at the same time, it is everything.

Is it bad to say that I don't think Jack will never not have me? I could hate him, fight with him, try and forget him, but there will always be a piece of me that belongs to him.

My phone rings, and I'm so happy that it does. I need to be snapped out of these thoughts.

"Hello," I say, my voice a little cracked.

"Get your ass out of bed. We're going out," Molly says on the other end of the line. "It's 10 o'clock. Tomorrow's Saturday. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Mol, I'm tired. I had a long day."

"Stassie, you're too young to be tired before midnight. I'm coming to get you in 30," she says, and before I can even contest, the line drops.

I didn't even get the chance to ask Molly where we were going, so I opted for jeans and a long sleeve blouse to be on the safe side. I don't care how much shit she's going to give me for not wearing any makeup or brushing my hair. Like I said, I'm tired.

I pass by my dad's room on the way downstairs and let him know that I'm going out with Molly.

"Where to exactly?" he asks.

"Great question. I'd love to know the answer to that, too."

"Stassie..."

"Don't worry, dad. I'll be in touch."

The Uber that Molly picked me up in beeps and I make my way outside.

"This better be good," I tell her when I slide into the car. "And how'd you know that I was in bed when you called?"

"Because it was past 9..."

"Fair enough."

10 minutes later, and we pull up to a carnival in the middle of town.

"Woah," I say as my eyes take in our surroundings.

Colorful tents consisting of different games, a ferris wheel, carousel, and a candy apple stand are just a few of the things that I immediately notice. The area is packed with locals and I immediately spot a few Sinclair Prep students.

"Worth getting out of bed for?" Molly asks, and I excitedly nod.

"Definitely worth it."

"Let's go get ourselves some tickets."

We make our way to the booth, and Molly's talking about this trip she's taking with her family in a few weeks when the person in front of us turns around.

I didn't expect to see him here.

Jack looks just as caught off-guard as I probably do right now.

Molly side-steps us and makes her way to the ticket lady as I stand there in place.

Words are on the tip of my tongue but Johnny and Rafe approach Jack, and the words completely vanish.

"Jack," Rafe nods, reaching out a silver flask to him.

Jack takes the flask from Rafe's grip, but doesn't drink from it just yet. He keeps his eyes on me as I wait to see if he actually will, and then tips the flask up and pours whatever's in there into his mouth.

Once he's done guzzling from the flask, he uses the back of his hand to wipe at his mouth, and then says to Rafe and Johnny, "Let's go boys."

I stand there, my expression frozen as Molly returns with a stack full of tickets. I hate the way he controls my entire mind when I can't stand him. He can have it all he wants when he's good. But when he's not good, when he's a real asshole, that's when he has it the most.

Molly looks over her shoulder and then says, "Seriously? Who even drinks at a carnival?" She shakes her head and then hands me some tickets. "Here. These are yours."

"Thanks. How much do I owe you?"

"They're on me." She wraps her arm over my shoulder and points us in the direction of the ring toss game. "Now, what do you say to some friendly competition?"

***

Molly beats me at ring toss and basketball. If I cared to win, I would try harder, but my mind's not on any game. It's on Jack, who I haven't seen since the ticket booth.

I spot Henry and Shawn by the popcorn stand and then look back at Molly. "Mol, don't freak, but Henry's here."

She immediately turns her body around before facing me again. "Ugh," she sighs.

"Are you going to talk to him tonight?"

"I always talk to him."

"You know what I mean."

She drops her shoulders down and then says, "I just don't feel like ruining my night."

"You're not going to ruin it. Whatever ends up happening, I think you'll feel a huge sigh of relief knowing that you put yourself out there."

"I don't know about that."

"You got this, Mol," I say, nodding my head at her in an encouraging way.

She lets a deep exhale out and then unenthusiastically says, "Yeah."

I leave Molly to do her thing, and head to the lemonade booth.

"Just one," I tell the girl, who hands me a large plastic cup.

I walk around the carnival as I sip on my drink when I notice Jack standing with his posse by the balloon pop game, still drinking from that stupid flask. As much as I want to approach him, I know that I can't. That I shouldn't.

Ugh, I miss him even when he's near. And when he's not, oh my God, it's torture.

I decide to ignore my impulse and head in the opposite direction, where I see Molly walking back to me with an indifferent expression on her face. I'm trying to decipher how her conversation with Henry went, but she's giving me nothing to read into.

"So...how'd it go?" I ask.

"Like I knew it would," she shrug. "I told him how I felt, and he smiled. Told me how grateful he felt to have me in his life."

"Mol, that's great," I say excitedly.

"...As a friend," she continues.

I try to keep my smile intact for her sake, but I feel for her. "I'm sorry, Mol," I say.

"Don't be. I'm not. In a way, I feel as though I got the closure that I needed, you know? Like I can finally move on."

"Yeah," I whisper.

"He's a good guy."

"Yeah. He is. And he does care about you."

"Yeah, I know. I wish he cared in a different way, but, hey, we can't have everything, right?"

"You will, though, Mol. One day, you'll have the guy of your dreams. That I'm sure of."

"Thanks, Stassie," she grins before exhaling and scoping the area. "So, what next?"

"Hmm. Carousel?" I propose, but her eyes roam the area, lighting up when they land elsewhere.

"No," she says. "I have something better in mind."