Cam Cameron // The Oceans in our Hearts

11

After I finish putting new arrivals up on their shelves, I go back to the front desk of the bookstore to sit and write. I write poetry, songs, letters; anything I feel. It's funny though. Being a writer who's never good with words. Writing to put labels on emotions and thoughts in convoluted ways. I guess I do as all artists and get out what I feel in a productive way. Or maybe this is another way of bottling. Either way, I write.

The boy with the brown eyes:

he was a breath of something new
yet he felt of something known
he's the view in this small town
after spending months away from home

stars to be counted
waves to be touched
there are infinite numbers
yet still not enough

what do i do now
when i've played at the edge
do i dare fall?
do i

"Hey Gracie." I look up from the page and slam the journal shut. I see ocean eyes and sand hair.

"Oh, hi Jere," I say above a whisper. He doesn't look sad but he doesn't look happy either.

"I know you're at work, but can we talk?" he asks. I look around and make sure no one needs any help. It's a weekday so the store is usually pretty empty.

"One second," I tell him before walking to the back of the store. I spot Xavier and tell him I'm going on a shirt break and all he does is nod without even turning to look at me. I roll my eyes and walk away. Jeremiah is anxiously waiting at the desk. He can always put a smile on but if you observe him for just a second longer he's so easy to read. Facades can only hold for so long. I walk up to him and he looks at me gesturing to go outside. We take a walk.

"So, I just wanted to talk about... last night," he starts. I breathe deeply.

"Listen Jere, I'm really sorry I didn't mean to say it like that we just grew up together and I didn't expect that to happen and I care about you so much and I hope I didn't hurt you-" a hand covers my mouth.

"Gracie," he says stopping us and turning me to look at him. "I am crazy about you. I don't want us to just be some hookup," his eyes piercing through mine.

"Oh," is the only sound that falls out of my mouth. He smiles and giggles a bit.

"I know we've always just been friends but, if you give me a chance... I'm here when you're ready," he says putting his hand on my cheek and brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. He ruffles my hair before smiling and walking away. I'm left a silence idiot standing and processing. I walk back to the store and finish my shift hoping the time goes slower so I don't have to go home and face my problems.

-

Shayla: Are you ready for the fourth of July?

Me: I'm ready for it to be over

Shayla: 🙄 what are you wearing?

Me: probably this

I send a picture of myself in a blue and white floral mini dress and my sneakers.

Shayla: Okay damn girl!

Me: lol, what are you wearing?

She sends a typical cute outfit that's very on brand for Shayla. She's a fashionista or whatever so I expect nothing less.

Me: Cute

Shayla: Is Belly inviting Cam?

Me: I don't know actually

Shayla: Okay well I'll see you soon

I like the message and go downstairs to meet Liam so we can walk over together. My dad is already over helping grill while my mom decides to stay in.

"Bye mom!" Liam and I call out.

"Bye! Have fun and bring me back some food!" she responds. And we are out the door.

"Do you think Belly will ask Cam to be her escort?" I ask Liam.

"Honestly, I don't know," he answers. "If she was going to, I feel like she would've done it by now," he reasons. Oddly that makes me feel better. We get there and see my dad with Laurels ex husband. Jeremiah talking to some woman; I'm assuming that's the new girlfriend of Belly's dad. She looks young. Nicole with Conrad in the pool. Gigi talking to Susannah and Laurel. Belly, Steven, and Shayla are grabbing food. Liam and I go over to them to say hi and grab some food too.

-

Jeremiah and I sit at the island watching Belly make more pomegranate margaritas. I taste but decide drinking isn't for me. Don't want a repeat of last time. Conrad walks in and joins us.

"We gotta use the good blender."

"What about the kool aid accident?" I fake gasp.

"The counters were sticky for... two summers?" he raises his brows at Jeremiah. Belly and Conrad blend while Conrad scares us into thinking the lid is gonna come off. We're all laughing.

"You know what I miss?" Conrad starts. "When Laurel would put dad in his place. She'd be like 'Adam!'"

"Adam!" we turn to see Laurel shout. We track her eyes and see the Fisher boys' dad. Jeremiah gives him a hug and I notice Conrad less happy than he was just a second ago. Susannah comes in and doesn't seem ecstatic so Laurel signals us to leave. We listen and all the teens make their way to the beach with the margaritas.

We are all in a circle sitting on pool floaties in the sand. I'm in between Belly and Shayla having a really good time watching Belly get drunk and making fun of how hard Steven tries to impress Shayla.

"Hey guys! Look who I found!" Jeremiah calls out running over. It's a certain sweet somebody with a white t-shirt hugged by a blue unbuttoned shirt and shorts.

"Cam!" They all yell excitedly. I force a smile, a bit too nervous to actually say anything. Conrad offers him a drink but he rejects it telling him he doesn't drink. Belly signals for him to sit next to her in the spot between us. So he does. I look to Shayla for help and she just
smirks. I smile at him when he sits.

"Hey Gracie," he greets me softly.

"Hi Cam," I greet back. "I'm- uh- I'm glad you're here," I say just above a whisper.

"Thanks, me too," he laughs leaning in and nudging my shoulder with his.