I couldn't bring myself to therapy at all. I couldn't even bring myself to cry anymore, especially after Richard told me many times over the phone to "man up because boys don't cry." I want to cry. I wish I had it in me to let it all out and express myself. I'm surprised I even survived the abandonment, let alone past twenty-six years old. All I did was get out of bed (almost) daily, go through the motions at work as a server, and save up my money so I could finally get a car and move away. The saddest thing is, Pam and James forced me to stay there for a few more years after Lucy moved out at twenty-five, even though Lucy was adamant on letting me move in with her. To Pam and James, Lucy and I were animals to be trained. They were rebounds after our first trainers gave up and left us behind because we were so bad.
Those couple of years alone without her drove me to cry every night because I had no one to turn to. It was so much so that one night I walked down to the basement in the middle of the night and somehow remembered the code to the safe where all of their guns were stored. My shaky hand took the handgun out of there and carelessly carried it up to my bedroom. Once I got to my bedroom, I turned on my desk lamp to make sure the aim into my heart was perfect. The next evening, I woke up in a hospital bed too tired to cry but too heartbroken not to. Lucy was sitting in the chair next to me, always by my side. "They cared enough to call and tell me you were here," she said, holding my hand.
I smiled a real smile for the first time in almost a year. "Thank you for coming."
She smiled at me as a "you're welcome," not needing to say a word. We just sat in silence for a couple of minutes. Then I said, slowly and slurred, "how did I get here?"
Lucy sighed deeply then explained, still holding my hand, "Pam and James caught you late in the act after you became unconscious. Then they waited for an ambulance to come to the house and take you here. Then just a few hours ago, I got the call so I figured I would come visit."
I couldn't help but finally cry all the tears I'd been holding back for years. She reached over and hugged me, reminding me of why I held on for so long in the first place. "It's okay to cry," she told me. "Boys do cry, and you do not have to man up."
"Really?"
"Really. It's never too late to turn your life around, D."
I took those words to heart, using any excuse I could to avoid Pam and James. I would say I was going to my current job for more hours but take on a side gig to play my keyboard on the street downtown for tips.I finally made it out of Pam and James's place at twenty-seven, only two years ago, with Lucy's help. I had finally turned my life around and moved into an apartment downtown where I serenaded the streets. So imagine my shock when Lucy called me just days ago to tell me that Louise and Richard had a whole other set of twins just months after our abandonment. "You were just casually working with our long-lost sister for the past month?" I said over the phone after hearing how they found out.
"Apparently," Lucy replied. Then we finalized lunch plans with her and the younger twins. "Oh, and Lily said to me that she'd tell mom and dad that she and her twin would just be going out with friends for a nice day out."
"It would be a nice day out alright," I replied sarcastically. Then I realized how sad it was that she had to lie. Classic tale.Lucy and I then met each other for the first time in months at a local restaurant a few days later. All four of us began at the table with our drinks, just too shocked and socially awkward to speak. Lily, the little sister, barely talked unless someone else asked her something. Even then, it was just small talk of: "how is work going?", "how is school going?", and "what shows are you watching lately?". Her answers were always one sentence of about three or four words. Darien, on the other hand, was the most talkative. He practically forced us to talk even though nothing we talked about would avoid why we're here. All we could do was think.
Finally, I broke the silence when the food came out. "So, what should we do with knowing just days ago that we've had brothers and sisters?"
The way we looked at each other, the silence in that moment of hesitation was deafening. Then, Lily finally said something. "I don't know what else except... I don't know, DNA tests to make sure it's real?"
"There's no way we can make Mom and Dad do that with us," Darien argued. "I know you're still in shock, but come on."
"She actually has a point, Darien," Lucy stepped in. "We have to check this stuff out. I'm sure that it's true, but we should make sure of it."
I nodded in agreement with a big sigh. "I'm more in shock that our parents told that story to you guys as if it was fake and something to laugh about."
"I know," Lily mumbled. Then all of a sudden she broke out of her shell more, "I regret so much how I used to laugh about it when we were kids."
"Don't be sorry," Lucy reassured her. "You were just a kid and forced to think that with the way they manipulated you."
Darien let out a big sigh, rolling his eyes. "I still can't believe it, though. They were good parents to me and Lily. You guys must be going crazy." He turned to Lily, "And Lily, don't give me that bullshit about how Mom abused you because she wouldn't let you wear all black or cry like a baby when you needed your feelings validated. She did not manipulate you, she was trying to help you."
That escalated quickly, I thought to myself. I took a few seconds in the awkward silence to think. Then I finally let out all the outrage I felt for years but could never express before "Trying to help!? They abandoned Lucy and me in a forest park next to the Interstate because they wanted to get rid of us! Are you trying to say that we deserved that!?"
"I'm not saying that," Darien argued, "I'm just saying that they were good to us so you should cut them some slack."
Lucy got heated, too. "Cut them some slack? Just because they were good to you doesn't mean they were horrible to someone else!"
"Who cares!? It didn't affect me."
"I call bullshit."
"I call bullshit on your bullshit. It's all just discipline," he turned to Lily again, who was speechless and on the verge of tears. "Let it go, sissy. Our parents love you and would do anything for you. They gave us life, food, water, a house, and clothing, don't they deserve respect? And don't tell me how it's my fault you're hurt right now because it was you who dragged me to lunch today. I didn't want to be here on the basis of you lying to them! Our parents would never abandon their kids in the forest; these older people are lying to you! Learn to respect your parents once in a while."
Get a room for that anger, I thought to myself.
YOU ARE READING
Flames in the Family Tree
Short StoryThat's all it was to Lily and Darien: a myth. A myth story about their overbearing and emotionally unavailable parents' supposed "last set of twins." What happened to this "last set of twins" in the myth story? They were driven far away on an Inters...