Flames in the Family Tree

Part 5- Darien's POV

What have I done?
          I didn't want to get dragged into this family drama. I just wanted to move on and live my life. But now that I think about it, Mom and Dad never really let us do that. Instead of cooperating and letting my sister say what she needed to say, I caused a scene in the restaurant. I made my sister cry. Years ago I would have told her to get over herself and stop being dramatic. I should know better than this. But I can't move on and live my life without facing the truth, I guess. So for those few minutes I sat and only thought. I reflected on everything leading up to the drama lunch.
          I thought about our mother's attitude and how that's the reason I was so anxious to go back to school last summer after a long few months away from her on tour with the drum corps. The mental drain from endless practice and performance with barely any sleep got so bad that I wanted to come home, but as soon as I came home I was reminded of yet another reason why I left. Lily should have been fine, right? She's clearly the favorite child.
          Or so I thought.

Growing up, I always thought that our parents loved Lily more because she was "easy," a goody-two-shoes. She's always been a rule follower when we were little, who used to yell at me for saying that our mom was mean sometimes. But that all changed when we were sixteen and she began enjoying music and clothes which our mom didn't find appropriate or attractive. To be fair, I didn't think they were either at the time. And I had taken our mom's side every time they argued about that. I just couldn't shake the image of her being a rule-follower.
          Ever since I finally went to college and spent a good chunk of time away from our mom and dad, things have changed and I met new people who helped me open my mind. Then they made me realize that yes, my mom really was mean and I wasn't just going crazy. I was looking forward to going home every winter and summer to get a break from schoolwork, but the schoolwork and constant music practice was what kept me sane. Having nothing, by my own will, to do makes me insane already, on top of our mother making demand after demand and taking her anger out on everybody else.
          Of course I know Lily. But she's made it so hard for me to know her more ever since she went to college and formed her own group. But I don't blame her. It really is all our parents' fault that she turned into a closed-off, shy girl unlike the confident, happy-go-lucky girl she was when we were little. I constantly saw her try and try to keep up the happy and confident personality so as not to burden our friends all during high school. But the new shy, struggling side seemed to take over when our mom began really showing her true colors. I remember how she vented to all her friends on the Internet about how terrible it was.
          Even while our mom yelled at and punished her for talking that shit about her and I took mom's side in public, I secretly vented about her to my friends too. Old habits never get old, don't they? Not even when they prove themselves to be bad habits. Just pick one, goddamnit Darien. But unfortunately, I chose the public defense of our mom and dad over Lily's real feelings that I used to think were fake. All while sitting with the older siblings we never knew we had because the parents I just defended abandoned them when they were nine.
          I should have believed them. I knew I should have listened.