sturniolo/nate imagines 2

thumb-Nate

Y/N POV

I heard steps coming to my room and pulled my thumb out of my mouth.
Yes. I'm 17 and still suck my thumb. I hate it. But it's my comfort. I've done it since I was a baby. As I got older, my parents yelled at me for it. The triplets made fun of me for it. But I couldn't stop. Most of the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it until I hear someone coming. When I'm crying, it helps, I feel like such a fucking baby. Because that's something only babies do. I try to stop. But after a while, I physically crave it. I don't if I'm out of the house or have a distraction. But if I go more than a full day without it, I just need it. When I'm at long sleepovers, I go to the bathroom to do it so I can stop focusing on it. But I'm never fully satisfied if I don't have my blankey too. I had a blanket from when I was a baby till about 7. Then my parents took it away, so I would stop. It wasn't a baby blanket, more for kids, with tiger from Winnie the pooh on it. They didn't really try to make me stop until I was too old. I cried for days after they took it. I missed almost a week of school. But they refused to give it back. So I found a different one. This was a regular grey blanket. It's big enough to cover my entire body now. I love it. I hate that I do. It has a weird corner on it, where it ripped. I play with it with my fingers while I suck my thumb. I always smell it. which is weird in itself. It has this distinct smell. I can't get enough of it. Other people say it stinks and they don't like it. But it comforts me just as much as my thumb. I struggle sleeping without it. My mom used to wash it all the time, but the sent was back within a week. I don't know what I'd do without my blankey. My family knows not to touch it. They don't know I still have the terrible habit. They think I stopped at 14, when I got braces. I wouldn't even think of telling anyone. My brothers used to make fun of me a lot. When I made the triplets really mad, they would all start making fun of me for it. Justin sat and watched, laughing until they got me to cry. Then he made them stop. I tried to run away to hide my tears, but apparently, that made me even more of a baby.
I begged so hard for them not to tell anyone. They didn't, for the most part. Chris told one of my friends on the bus one time when i was in 1st grade. I was mortified. I wouldn't go to school for 3 days. Mom said if they ever told anyone again, they couldn't go to any friends' houses for a month. So they never told. But they would threaten to if I pissed them off.
They met nate when they were in 6th grade. But I already knew him, we were in the same 5th grade class. We weren't friends, but we were friendly. Then he started coming to my house all the time for the triplets. By the time we were in 7th grade, I had the biggest crush on him. In 8th grade, I learned he liked me back. That was when I 'stopped', but I begged them not to tell him what I used to do. I thought he'd stop liking me. They hated that we liked each other, so they were gonna tell him. But I had also started having mental health problems at that time. I said I'd kill myself if they told him. It wasn't completely serious. But it scared them out of it. Throughout 8th and 9th grade, me and Nate were on and off. At the end of 9th grade, I was done. I wanted a good summer. So, I completely ignored him for a year. I wouldn't say a single word to him. As 10th grade ended, he snuck into my room and begged me to take him back. He said he'd grown up and was done with the bullshit. So I gave him one more chance. He didn't fuck it up. We've been together for a year now. He still doesn't know.
"Oh Y/NNNN," Nate called, laying next to me.
"What?" I asked, rolling over to him.
"Wanna go on a date tonight?" He asked, putting his arm around me.
"Depends. Will this date include the triplets?"
"Potentially. Depending on how you feel about it."
"Then Potentially no."
"Aw, come on. They wanna come."
"If you wanna hang out with them, that's fine. But I'm not going on a date that includes my brothers. Then it's not even a date." I shook my head.
"Ok, then they don't get to come."
"Yay," I kissed his cheek. "So what are we doing?"
"First, I'd like to do you." He rolled on top of me and pressed his lips to mine.
"Hey," i pushed him away. "Take a lady out first." I giggled.
"Fine," he groaned, helping me up.

(Time skip)

"Have fun without us?" Chris pouted as we came inside.
"Yes, we did." I smirked.
"Our turn with him now." He crossed his arms.
"We don't have turns?"
"You just got him for like 3 hours. We get to hang out with him now."
"He's my boyfriend."
"He's my best friend."
"I don't care. We have stuff to do." I tied to pull him away, but he pulled us back.
"Stop being such a brat." He groaned.
"Stop being such a dickwad." I said back. He huffed.
"At least im not a ginger." He crossed his arms again.
"At least I'm not the most annoying person on the planet."
"At least I'm not a baby who sucked her thumb until she was 14." My playful smirk imedietly turned into a frown as his eyes widened. Hurt flashed across my face before I covered it.
"Chris," Matt scolded him quietly through the silence. I let go of Nates' hand running to my room. I shut the door quietly, sliding down onto the floor as tears spilled from my eyes. Why did he do that? Does he really want Nate to himself that bad? Nates gonna think I'm a baby. He should. I am a baby. Just a stupid fucking worthless baby. Sobs escaped my lips, and I wanted to cry more because I know the best way to stop it is what I'm crying about in the first place. That makes me hate myself even more.
"Y/N," I soft knock came through the door.
"Can I come in?" It's Nate. I reached up and pushed in the lock. He sighed as he heard the sound of it locking.
"Love, please. I don't think you're weird or a baby." I don't believe him. I grabbed my blankey off my bed and cried into it, inhaling the soothing sent. Nate continued trying to talk to me but eventually gave up.
Our entire relationship is ruined.

(Time skip)

I grabbed the last item with a light sob, placing it into the box. I'm breaking up with Nate. I can't stand him knowing, and if we did talk about it, I'd have to tell him I still do it. But I just can't. It would be so painfully awkward, and there's no way he'd still like me if he knew. If I didn't tell him I still do it, I'd be hiding it forever. How would we get married if he doesn't know? How am I supposed to marry anyone? I can't date again until I learn to stop.
I opened the door and saw Nate sitting against the wall, letting out a sigh of relief as I saw he was asleep. I carefully set the box of his things in front of the door as I made sure this is what I want to do. It's for the better.

(Time skip)

"Y/N," a nervous sounding Nate called out.
"What is this?" He asked.
"This isn't what I think it is." He tried to open the door, but I had it locked.
"Y/N, no. You can't do this, please. It's one tiny thing, why?" He questioned. I heard his sniffs through the door, as I hid mine.
"Can we please, please, just talk about this? Please."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"No. No, I can't live without you. I can't, I need you." A door opened down the hall.
"Nate? What's wrong?" Matt asked.
"S-she's breaking up with me."
"What?"
"What's up?" Chris groaned, coming out of his room.
"Y/Ns breaking up with him." I grabbed my headphones, turning them all the way up and blocking out the sound.

(Time skip)

It's been a week since I broke up with Nate. I hate it, but I don't regret it. I haven't talked to anyone, at all. I go to the bathroom, and I get food once a day. The triplets try to talk to me, but I ignore them and keep my headphones on. I really want to talk to Nate, but I know I shouldn't. He's tried talking to me so many times, and my heart breaks even more every time I don't reply. I just can't.
I heard the doorknob rattle and sat up. Did I forget to lock it? My heart dropped as I saw Nate standing in front of me.
"I need to talk to you." He said desperately.
"Please," I sat against the wall, staring into my lap. I gave a slight nod, and he shut the door, kneeling in front of me.
"Why did you break up with me?" He asked, I just shrugged.
"Y/N, come on. Please. I know you didn't want to, why did you do it?"
"I'm embarrassed," I mumbled quietly.
"I know it's more than that." He slowly took my hand in his, rubbing circles with his thumb.
"I don't want you to think I'm a baby." I nearly whispered.
"You're not a baby. And it was 3 years ago, it doesn't matter anyway." He said softly. I lightly shook my head.
"What?" He questioned.
"I, well. Uh, I still do it." I admitted nervously, tears welling in my eyes.
"That's ok." I glanced up at him.
"You - you aren't gonna make fun of me?"
"No, love. Why would I do that?"
"Because it's for babies, it's weird."
"If that's what comforts you, and it's what you need, I don't care." I looked up in surprise, wiping my eyes.
"You would still wanna be with me?"
"Of course I do." He tucked a peace of hair behind my ear.
"Really?"
"I need you in my life. I don't care about that. I love you. And I need you to take me back." He said hopefully.
"Ok," I nodded.
"Thank you." He kissed me softly.
"I'm sorry I did that." I apologized as we pulled away.
"It's ok." He kissed my forehead and stood.
"How 'bout some food?" He took me to the kitchen. He really doesn't care.