Unwanted

Chapter 3

Benjamin was not accustomed to having difficulty focusing in this manner. His father's lecture on collecting land rents droned on endlessly this morning; nothing could keep his mind from wandering to Ms. Rathbourne. She'd looked angelic in the speckled light under the tree in the garden. When he'd placed his hands on her waist to steady her, he'd felt no corset, a fact he decided must be a fantasy on his part. Proper ladies like Alexa Rathbourne never went anywhere without a corset. Nonetheless he couldn't help but remember what his hands felt sitting on her waist, pushing lightly into her skin as he gripped her in an effort to keep her balance.

He'd made a few inquiries among his acquaintances and found out that Ms. Rathbourne was one and twenty with not one marriage proposal to her name. That had shocked him immensely; he did not understand how she had not yet been pursued by the entirety of the male population. Something about her soft curves and golden curls called to him in a way he had never experienced with other ladies of the ton. A strong instinct to protect her surged in his breast as he considered how she must have felt after all of these seasons with no suitors. He remembered vividly the rosy flush of her cheeks during their dance and the endearing way she'd been so flustered that she had trampled on his feet and knocked his chin with her head. The fact that she'd knocked her head into him had surprised him more than it hurt, most ladies were not tall enough to hit him in the head with theirs, even if he was leaning in.

What he liked most about her though was none of these things. In fact, what he admired most about her was the brave face she put on that night as she walked into the ball. At the time, he could see the steely determination hiding her insecurities when she was announced to the room, but he had not known the reason behind them. Now, informed as he was, he held great admiration, almost pride for her, knowing that she was facing another ball with no suitors after four previous seasons of the same. He wasn't sure that if he was so poorly accepted into society that he could continue to put himself out there as she was. It did, however, explain why she was so flustered around him; she'd barely had any experience with men her age. He wondered idly if he was her first dance, immediately rejecting the idea as entirely preposterous.

He was interrupted in his ponderings by his best friend and Eton schoolmate, Jack Sinclair.

          " Ben old boy, did you forget about our plans to go down to the fencing club this afternoon?" Jack nearly shouted, trying to scare his friend, knowing full well that he'd forgotten about their plans.

             "Damn Jack, you nearly gave me apoplexy. Where is Twombly? He should've introduced you so I wouldn't have had the wits scared out of me," Ben shouted back, feeling his heart still beating too fast from the scare. "Give me a few minutes to collect my things and I'll be back down. Tell Twombly to ready the carriage while I'm gone," Ben responded, jumping up from his favorite chair in the study.

          "Don't be too hard on old Twombly Ben, I told him you knew I was coming and that I had no need of an introduction. He took some convincing, he's so set in his ways, but I was able to assure him," Jack admitted, hoping to keep the amiable butler from any trouble with his employer.

            "If you insist Jack, I will return promptly," Ben yelled behind him on his way up the stairs to his chambers.

Ben returned a few minutes later, his fencing equipment in one arm and fencing attire on the other arm. He and Jack climbed into the carriage and set off for the club.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Jack was too curious to refrain from asking, "What is going on with you old chap? You're not one to forget an appointment and you are never this quiet."

           "I'm thinking about Tess," Ben admitted uncomfortably, knowing that his friend would know immediately about whom he was speaking.

          "Tess, as in your betrothed since you were nigh on twelve years old Tess?" Jack questioned, wondering why she was on his mind of late. Ben had barely spoken about her since they had left for University four years prior.