In Between

The Masks We Wear

The fallout between Abba and Nola was as chaotic and intense as one would expect from a teenage relationship. It was erratic, emotional, and a little dangerous. Matters were further complicated when one of their mutual acquaintances, who had seemed to support their relationship, stepped into Nola’s place in Abba’s life. Her name was Nana, and she was different from Nola in every way.

In their school, comparisons were inevitable. "She's not pretty, what is he thinking?" was a common remark. Abba found himself wondering, "How can even girls say this about another girl?" The toxicity of teenagers is often underestimated; it can be devastating. In Nana’s defense, she was mostly innocent in all of this. She did not engage in the malicious gossip about Abba and Nola, but her involvement didn't look good, especially given how quickly Abba moved on to her.

Nana represented something different for Abba. Despite not being considered traditionally beautiful by their peers, she was captivating to him. She challenged him intellectually, being the most intelligent girl he had ever met. Unlike Nola, Nana did not make her feelings for Abba obvious. One might wonder if she had her sights set on Abba from the beginning, but he never considered this. Even if he had, his emotions were too turbulent to allow for such reflections. Nana became the perfect distraction for him. He had no time to process the toll the breakup with Nola had taken on him.

On the other hand, Nola handled the breakup differently. Being popular, she had many people on her side who said the meanest things about Nana and left threatening notes wherever Nana went. Though Nola didn’t partake personally, she encouraged this behavior, which left Abba a little disappointed. However, he was too preoccupied with his new relationship to dwell on it.

Nana knew Abba's reputation as a heartbreaker. She had seen it firsthand and, to some extent, was complicit in it. Abba’s charm remained unchanged—he listened, was honest, and passionate. Even for those who had only heard negative things about him, to know Abba was to understand there was much more to him. Nana fell for him, and if it hadn’t been for her, Abba might have sunk into despair. His sweet sixteen was bearable only because of Nana. Even though he wore his masks with her, the most honest parts of him still existed and felt the pain of losing his first love.

What Abba didn’t account for was that Nana had her own masks. Among the so-called beautiful people, she often heard that she didn’t belong. So, she wore two faces—one for Abba and one for everyone else. Abba was the only person to ever see her vulnerable side, but he was oblivious to her insecurities, or he just didn’t care.

As the year ended and a new one began, the couple was forced to part ways when Abba's family transferred him to a different district. Despite the distance, they managed to stay strong, communicating regularly and maintaining their connection. However, the old enemy of progress reared its ugly head. One of Abba’s friends, the same one who had been central to his breakup with Nola, said all the wrong things about Nana. Without verifying the information, Abba took it to heart. His lack of confidence in people led him to believe that Nana had defamed him and revealed secrets only she knew.

In a fit of anger, Abba wrote a savage letter to Nana, ending their relationship. He would later regret the harsh words, but the damage was done, and there was no way to take them back. The same friend who had caused the rift between him and Nola had now driven a wedge between him and Nana. Perhaps Abba should have paid more attention to the people he considered friends. However, he was still growing, and so was the darkness inside him. Another mask formed.

The breakup with Nana left a significant impact on Abba. He had opened himself up to her in ways he hadn't with anyone else, and the betrayal he felt, even if it was based on misinformation, cut deep. The letter he wrote to Nana was filled with anger and hurt, lashing out at the one person who had seen his vulnerable side. In hindsight, he would often reflect on the words he chose, wishing he could take them back but knowing it was impossible.

Nana, on the receiving end of Abba's wrath, was devastated. She had seen the good in him, the potential for greatness beyond the masks he wore. The accusations he threw at her felt like a knife to her heart, not just because of the falsehoods, but because they came from someone she had grown to care for deeply. The notes and threats she had endured from Nola's supporters paled in comparison to the emotional toll of Abba’s letter.

As the months passed, Abba and Nana's lives took different paths. Abba's family settled in their new district, and he tried to move forward, burying his pain under layers of new masks. He threw himself into his studies and hobbies, trying to find solace in the distractions they offered. Yet, the specter of his failed relationships loomed over him, a constant reminder of his perceived failures.

In his new school, Abba met new people and formed new relationships, but he was more guarded than ever. The masks he wore became thicker, more impenetrable. He found it difficult to trust anyone, always questioning their motives and intentions. The lessons he had learned from his relationships with Nola and Nana had made him wary, and he built walls around his heart to protect himself from further pain.

Despite the distance and the time that passed, Abba often thought about Nola. He wondered how she was doing, if she had moved on, and if she still thought about him. The fall out from that relationship lingered far longer than the relationship with Nana. Such is a nature of love when true.