I woke up the next morning to the smell of something delicious. My eyes shot open when I realized that was in fact real and not my imagination. I looked over and saw that both Zack and Rian had already gotten up.
I lazily stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Rian, Zack, and Rian's father (who's name I still don't know) sat at the table while Mrs. Carla cooked what smelled like pancakes.
"Hey, Alex. Took you long enough to wake up." Zack said in his usual "I'm completely awake even though it's really fucking early" voice that he used every single goddamn morning.
"Hey." I croaked out. I sat down next to Zack at the dining table and waited for whatever was about to be served to me. Soon enough a plate full of pancakes was being set before us. Zack and Rian both lunged at the plate only to each receive a slap on the hand with a spatula.
"Hey!" Rian protested giving his stepmother a "what the hell was that for" look.
"Let the guest at least have a chance to eat." She scolded as I grabbed a pancake off the top of the stack and put it on my plate.
"Thank you, Mrs. Carla." I said as I put syrup on my pancake.
"You're welcome. Thank you for having more manners than these two boys." She looked at her sons, raising her eyebrows and giving them a steely gaze.
The second Mrs. Carla walked away, it was like the bell sounding the beginning of The Hunger Games with Zack and Rian headed straight for the cornucopia.
We ate in a comfortable silence, not a calm one since Zack and Rian were stuffing their faces, but a comfortable one. I wasn't used to a family meal. Ever since... the thing, my dad began working insane shifts and was never home and my mom stayed to herself. We were only a family bound by law at this point.
I finished off my pancakes and brought my plate to the sink then sat back at the table while Zack and Rian finished their pancakes. I wasn't really sure what to do since I hadn't had a real family meal like this since I was like 10 or 11, so I sat in my seat and waited quietly. It seemed like an hour but it was really only five minutes when Zack and Rian put their plates in the sink.
We went back upstairs and sat where we had previously been sleeping. I could've cut the tension with a knife the second I stepped foot back in that room.
"Alex, I'm asking as a concerned friend. What happened last night?" Zack cut straight to the chase. I could tell he wasn't going to accept bullshit so I might as well spill it all.
"Well, might as well get this over with." I sighed knowing I would most likely start crying soon.
"When I was 12 my brother, he, um, he shot himself. H-he had problems with depression and alcohol. We were pretty close so it hit hard and I've never really gotten over it. Jack's the only person outside of my family that knows." I looked at my hands to avoid their gazes.
"I'm sorry that happened, Alex." Zack said in a quitter, softer voice than before.
"He was only 21. He didn't deserve to die. I just wish I would've known. I wish I could've done something but I was too young to understand what was going on. I just remember hearing a shot and then my parent's horrified screams then a funeral. It all happened so fast. It took months for it to actually hit me and when it did I felt like the one who'd been shot. I didn't know at the time but now that I think back, I can't remember a time that his breath didn't smell of alcohol." The words spilled from my mouth without a second to think about anything I said.
"Alex, there was nothing you could do. It sounds like he had issues, issues that you couldn't have fixed even if you were aware of what was going on." Rian was always the reasonable one of the two.
