Petals of Passion

Chapter 2

Daddy bid goodbye to us and brought his bag with all the business documents inside the car. The last thing I saw was his car leaving as he stormed out of our house with the rain continuously pouring. I just hope he'll come back home safely not tomorrow but soon.

And it's been days since Daddy left us. I don't know where he went, maybe on our farm or his office. It will take hours to drive from here to his office and several hours to the farm because it is located near the province where he grew up.

May mga bagay pala talaga na kahit anong pure ng nararamdaman, a day will come and all will be blur. Parang sa lens ng camera, kailangang mag-adjust para magfocus sa subject at hindi maging malabo ang kalalabasan nito. I believe my parents' relationship was starting to be blurry ever since my Dad got into a fight with Cadence's family.

There was a time when Daddy got jealous of Cadence's Dad— Mr. Caspher Geneva when he saw Mom hanging out together with him about our businesses. Dumagdag pa ang isyung namamagitan sa kanilang dalawa simula noong bata pa sila. Daddy and Tito Caspher have been fighting about inheritance since they were young. And it feels so draining that I've also learned to hate the people he hated.

I'm such a daddy's girl and no matter what happens, I would still care for him because he's my Dad. I will always be his confidant.

"Is there something I need to know, Cosette?" Ma'am Cuenca asked me, she's my adviser and she noticed the days I wasn't attending the class.

"Nothing, Ma'am. Personal problems, that's all," tipid kong sagot tsaka nagpaalam na dahil tapos na rin naman ang klase namin sa kaniya.

Bago pa man ako makapasok sa classroom matapos niya akong tawagin ay nagsalita ulit siya habang nakahawak sa kanang kamay ko.

"You can talk to me anytime, Cosette. It's a bit concerning since you're one of the students acing this semester," she said and I nodded as a sign of agreement.

Patapos na ang first semester namin dahil last week na ng January. Baka next week ay i-announce na nila sa bulletin board ang Top 10 ng buong Grade 12. Hindi ako pwedeng makampante dahil lamang alam ko sa sarili ko na nag-aaral ako nang mabuti. If I really want to graduate with lots of achievements, I need to aim for higher opportunities. In that way, it could potentially help me with finding scholarships so I may be able to live my life to the fullest while I'm still young, besides, our farm needs my help. 

Tumabi ako kina Cashew at Plum na kasalukuyang gumagawa ng assignment namin siguro sa ibang subject. I missed them. Ilang araw lamang ako nawala sa klase ngunit pakiramdam ko ay ilang buwan ko silang nakita. Silent treatment has been my only way of bringing peace to myself. Although some people want to be busy or distracted during their most lonely and problematic days, I prefer to stay in my room and sleep. It makes me more calm since I don't want to rant about what is happening in my life. I would always isolate myself from them. This might look selfish for other people but I think it's for the greater good.

I prefer to suffer alone.

And I believe my best friends knew that because they have understood me for a few years now.

You can’t be selfish by isolating yourself from your friends or family, it’s a coping mechanism that only yourself can judge. Having a peace of mind and knowing that no one will judge you for what is happening with your life is something therapeutic. You are free to talk about everything without the fear of getting judged. Besides, talking with yourself is fine unless you start laughing alone inside your room, that might be a different case.

But I just can't believe that instead of bringing peace to myself, I gained lots of confusion instead. I received notifications from one person during the days that I was absent.