How Could You?

17

Leona

The cold metal pressed against my temple, and Alenia's menacing gaze made my blood run icy. I'd never known fear like this before - it was a suffocating rope that wrapped around my heart, squeezing tight.

My mind raced with the unbearable thought of leaving Wilona behind, alone and vulnerable. The weight of failure crushed me, the possibility of not being there to guide her, to protect her, to love her. My breath caught in my throat as I trembled, my entire existence reduced to a single, terrifying moment.

But Wilson intervened, outsmarted Alenia, disarming her just in time. Yet, in the chaos, he took a bullet, and my world froze. I thought I saw his chest shudder under the impact, and my heart plummeted, as if it too had been pierced. We were estranged, our marriage frayed and worn.

A decade of memories, of laughter and tears, of whispers and sighs, still lingered, a bittersweet reminder of what we once shared. In that instant, all our differences melted away, and I felt the lingering concern for him. Being apart from Wilson had made it easier to numb the ache, to convince myself that our love was fading, that the embers had finally died out.

But his proximity ignited a confusing storm within me. His presence reminded me about the feelings I thought I'd long buried, making it impossible to distinguish between lingering care and heartache. I am not implying that relationships can't be repaired, but trust - that delicate thread that once bound us together - had been irreparably crushed. My heart, once so willing to surrender to him, now hesitated, unsure of how to navigate the treacherous landscape of our past.

The relentless turmoil had drained me, leaving me exhausted and overhelmed. I craved serenity, a respite from the anguish and solitary struggles. When Wilson asked me to try again, I agreed, but warned him not to expect too much. I was lost, a wanderer in my own life, with nothing to offer - no promises, no guarantees, no solace. My own heart was a barren land, devoid of hope, and I couldn't muster the strength to nurture his expectations. I was barely holding on, and the thought of shouldering his dreams too felt like an insurmountable burden.

My primary motivation for agreeing to treatment was Wilona's fragile future, her chance to rediscover the joy of walking, of living, of embracing life's promise. But I couldn't shake off the awareness that Wilson, despite our fractured bond, was still my husband, and his presence would be a constant companion for the next year. The thought of sharing this journey with him, of navigating the intricate dance of coexistence, filled me with a mixture of apprehension and resignation.

Though my heart remained guarded, I knew that for Wilona's sake, I had to find a way to coexist with the man who still held a piece of my life, no matter how difficult.

Though I returned to our shared house, I retreated into my own private sanctuary, seeking refuge in the guestroom's neutral space. I donned a mask of politeness and kindness, a fragile veneer hiding the depth of my inner wounds.

Wilson's efforts to redeem himself and make amends were convincing, but I was still recovering from the trauma of his betrayal. My heart, once open and trusting, now felt like fragile glass, shattered and sharp-edged. I needed time to mend, to slowly gather the pieces of my shattered self, before I could even contemplate the future or consider his attempts at reconciliation.

A month later, with all the arrangements in place, we boarded a flight to South Korea, leaving the familiar skies of Boston behind. Wilson had swiftly sold his property in Houston, and secured a new job in Seoul, his impressive work ethic and experience making him an attractive candidate.

His professional prowess had earned him a swift acceptance, a testament to his capabilities, and a fresh start awaited him in this foreign land. As we soared through the skies, I couldn't help but wonder what this new chapter held for us, for Wilona.