Dear Diary,
I look back at these pages
And all the different stages
Of my little teenage life.
Was it such a painful time?
Or did I just focus on my life,
So much so, that i forgot to look past mine?
There were so many other lives
Waiting and begging to be touched
Not by my hand, but from above.
If only I would've looked past their eyes,
And their desperate disguise
Of a perfect teenage life.
But I will mention,
I have learned so much from all this dissension.
I'm grateful for the hard won wisdom I have earned,
As far as my teenage life is concerned,
I lived to learn and serve, even when I failed to show it.
Now I hate to reminisce,
And make it seem like things are amiss,
But I had this one silly little line
Reverberating in my mind.
"And on a random Tuesday night,
I'll thank him for turning me down,
because it put me on the path to you."
And although it doesn't rhyme,
It seemed quite perfect in my mind.
It was fitting to close off such a time,
As I begin a new chapter of my life.
All the times I thought my life had "ended",
It was just a new door opening and I just couldn't comprehend it.
All those times when I would cry, "why! Just why?"
And stay hung over the same guy,
They were leading me to this point,
When I can say thank you, for saying no.
Yeah maybe someday I'll truly be okay seeing your face,
That goofy smile that once left me all over the place,
And your tired eyes that hold a million words inside.
Maybe someday, but definitely not today.
Of our love there'll always be a trace,
But that chapter's been closed for over three months since today.
And I'm just gonna thank you once more,
For walking away.
I'm on a better path, a brighter one.
I feel joy and I feel pain.
And the greatest one of all,
Is that I can simply f e e l again.
So ride on, you blonde genius,
Forge ahead into this beautiful messed up world.
Thank you with no regrets.
And diary, I'm so glad I got caught up in that mess.
I even did chemistry and calculus because of him,
So who knows what more I can do when I'm living for someone other than myself?
