Dear Diary,
What an interesting thing
it is to be set free.
It's a combination of feelings;
hope,
curiosity,
and animosity.
See, when you've carried a burden for so long,
it becomes familiar to you.
There's no longer any right or wrong,
only this tainted worldview.
Hope,
because new things await,
without these worries on my plate,
who knows who I could be?
Curiosity,
because I couldn't dream any other dream
than what has been circulating in my poisoned bloodstream.
Stagnant ideas,
Stale emotions,
they no longer are everything I feel.
Animosity,
because the taste of unfamiliarity is not sweet.
It's worse than the burdens I've carried all this time.
I'd rather go back to the pain that was mine,
than risk losing all I've known for a life so sublime,
simply because I wouldn't know anything there.
So I cut my hair,
to make the playing field fair.
To go out there, only on my terms.
Still, the rules reamined unmovable, eerily firm.
I cried, because I felt the loss of what I had called "home".
The familiar feeling of pain,
was better than being healed and alone.
I wanted to go back.
What is this new place?
Where is my baggage?
Why has it been misplaced?
It's been just me and my haunted nightmares,
living out of a suitcase.
And now they're both gone,
leaving me to figure out how to move on.
Who am I past this simple identity?
Who am I, past "what they've done to me",
now that I've been set free?
