In Riptides

05 | five seconds

[chapter tw: sexual assault]

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L I A

It took me far too long to figure out that having high expectations sets you up for disappointment. Disappointment in plans, in life, in people.

I never thought Nate Miller would be one of those people, and that was my mistake. He's not exempt from causing pain. He's not some superhuman being. He's just a boy.

With each sip of beer, I'm trying to forget the blow of seeing him and Alex entwined as if they were in their own world. Like the one we shared this morning was a temporary stop until he made it back to his home planet. I'm trying to forget the fact that I should be on the beach with him right now, resting my head on his shoulder, watching the moon sink into the ocean until the sun climbs the horizon.

Instead, here I am at this party I never wanted to be at in the first place, dancing with Jay Carter out of all people. I know, I know – Carter? Sure, maybe getting drunk has lowered my guard, along with my inhibitions, but he's actually being fun. That's just what I need right now, and Rachel has disappeared with Harris somewhere, so this will have to do.

I told myself I'd get away from him if he tried any of his sleezy moves, if he touched me, if he so much as looked at me with that look that makes my skin crawl. But he hasn't. Not once. It's baffling, but breaking up with Matt might have just broken the spell. Carter never showed interest until I was taken. Until his best friend had a shiny new toy he wanted to steal like they were back on the kindergarten playground.

Maybe it was never about the changes I went through in the summer and getting 'hot' enough to be noticed. It was just about wanting something his best friend made look tempting.

The forbidden fruit that brought out the snake in him.

"Who wants a shot?" Lacey sings above the music, cutting through the crowd with a tray of mixed shots ranging from clear to golden brown to bright blue.

She passes them out to all the reaching hands, and as soon as I swallow that burning liquid, I know I've hit my tipping point.

"Urgh mistake," I groan, squeezing the bridge of my nose. "Mistake, mistake, mistake."

"You okay?" I hear Carter ask.

I start to nod my head, but it sways into a shake when the nausea bubbles higher. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Oh, shit." I feel his hand on my back. "Here, I got you."

The nausea swims up my nose, behind my eyes, prickling around my mouth, too strong for me to question where he's leading me. I'm not above taking to the bushes like Blake did, but then I realize I'm stumbling up the stairs and he's catching me from tripping over my feet.

"All the downstairs bathrooms will be full. This one's kinda small but..." he trails off, stopping at an open door next to a framed black and white photo of a swan. "Yeah. All yours."

I shut the door and drop to my knees at the toilet, but the nausea gradually subsides. I stay in place for a while as a precaution. Nothing. I probably could have just used some fresh air. When I open the faucet at the sink, Carter knocks.

"You good in there?" He opens the door a crack, sticking his head in. "Need me to hold your hair back?"

"False alarm," I sigh, patting the nape of my neck with cold water. "As if you'd actually hold my hair back, anyway."