In Riptides

16 | the caring kind

N A T E

The walk back to Lia's house is quiet. I told her she didn't have to leave, that we could just watch a movie or something, but I couldn't convince her. And I didn't want to push her to stay, so the least I could do was walk her home.

The silence between us feels heavier than it ever has. Dense and unfamiliar. A dog barks somewhere down the street, and she doesn't even flinch. Her face is lost in shadows, but I can tell her mind is lost in what just happened. Her boldness, wanting me, kissing me like she needed it as much as air. How sure she was until she wasn't.

For that brief moment before she backed out, I let myself forget. I let the growing distance and all the things she said this afternoon slip away, and I let myself sink into how it used to feel with her. Effortless.

Nearing her house, I notice her pace has picked up. She can't get there fast enough. My footsteps drag behind hers, and before I realize it, she's already stopped at the edge of the front lawn.

"Well, thanks for walking me back," she says with a hint of a smile. "You didn't have to, but thanks."

"Just wanted to make sure you got home safe. Never know what kind of danger lurks around the corner."

Her smile grows a fraction. "It's the suburbs, Nate."

I mimic her tone. "It's the middle of the night, Lia."

She shakes her head, clearly holding back an eyeroll. "I can take care of myself, you know."

"I know you can." I catch her gaze. "But is it so bad to let someone else take care of you too?" Her expression falters, fleetingly, but long enough for me to notice. I nod toward the dark house. "It doesn't look like anyone's awake. Can you even get inside?"

"My window's open," she says with a shrug.

I can't pull back the skeptical look I give. "You're climbing the tree?"

"That's how I got down."

"Oh... well, do you need a boost?"

"I'm good." She takes a step back, her posture relaxing just enough to make it seem like this is any other night. "Turns out surfing has given me some actual upper body strength."

"Told you it would," I tease, trying to lighten the weight in the air. "Keep it up and you might have guns like mine someday."

She laughs under her breath, already turning to the house. "Goodnight, Nate."

"Night," I say, almost sighing it out as I watch her walk across the grass.

As I make a start down the street again, the disappointment burns in my chest, a slow ache spreading with every step away from her. I don't know where we stand now. I don't know if we stand anywhere. After what she said at the restaurant, seeing her in my driveway tonight felt like a spark of hope. I let myself hope that maybe she had changed her mind, that maybe this wasn't over. That hope had been a rush, overwhelming and blinding. And now, it's only blinding me from seeing anything clear.

"Nate?"

Lia's voice cuts through the haze and I spin around. She's coming toward me, first walking, then jogging, her movements urgent and unsure all at once. The disappointment extinguishes, the hope sparking back to life beyond my control.

"Second thoughts about that boost?" I ask, only half-joking.

"No, it's not that." She stops in front of me, breath shallow. Her hands hover near her face before she tucks her hair behind her ears. "I just..."