BELOW ZERO: THE FORBIDDEN WOLF VOL 2 (Cregan Stark X OC) *COMPLETE*

Chapter Seven (Cregan)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Cregan

Winterfell

I do what they ask of me and it's still not enough.

The Gods punish me and I cannot figure out why. It's been a year since my wife passed away from a fever. She never conceived and child and I suppose that may be my fault. I only bed her once every few months because I could hardly stomach the thought of touching someone I don't love.

I knew her as my friend from childhood. We grew up together and I trusted her enough to make her my wife in hopes that maybe I could fall in love. Maybe it would be something beautiful and I believe the Gods punished me for spewing an oath that I did not believe in my heart.

Lady Arra was beautiful, sure. But she wasn't the one for me. It made me sickened just to kiss her half the time and bedding her was a chore. She hated it. I hated it. Sometimes it was decent but the rest of the time it was torture. We even resorted to sleeping in separate chambers. She wanted her space.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not sad over her passing.

In all honesty it feels... Freeing.

My father made me promise him on his dying breath that I'd wed for love and I didn't. I wed to shut up a bunch of fucking northern lords who think they know better than me. I was sixteen and only wanted to do the right thing.

I'm nearly twenty-two now and decided to find love. Even if it kills me. I've tried attending feasts and galas but nothing. No one woman has stood out to me at all. Lords across the realm have offered their daughters but I've refused.

I need to uphold my promise to my father.

Sitting at the desk in my study with the walls feeling as though they're closing in on me I wonder if my father felt the same amount of immense pressure that's been crushing me for months now. Poor Lady Arra had not been dead more than two moons before Lord Manderly offered me the hand of his daughter. Lord Bolton followed the following moon by bringing his daughter forth and asking me to court her.

I've rejected all offers.

A stack of letters sits on my desk and I skim through them all. Same thing from all different lords and even a marriage offer from Lady Cerwyn who says her daughter would make a fine Lady of the North and will make a good wife. She's already had a child with her late husband who died in a tragic hunting accident... Blah blah blah.

All the fucking letters are the same.

Into the flames they go. All those words and offers turning to nothing but ash in the bottom of my fireplace as I blow out the candles sitting on my desk and decide to retire to my chambers for the night.

Once in the hallway before turning to my chambers I'm stopped by Maester Ollivar, the boy I sent to the Citadel to get his chains. He did wonderful there and I accepted him back in Winterfell with open arms. He's become one of the few people who's council I have admired more than anything.

"Lord Cregan." He says with the bow of his head. His limp golden hair falling into his eyes slightly. "How are you fairing today?"

"Exhausted." I grumble. "Yourself?"

He smiles and looks down. "I've heard whispers, my Lord."

"You know I dislike gossip." I head back toward my study to speak privately with him. He follows me and I close the door while he restarts the candles and fireplace for me.