Wish You Were Dead

Chapter Ten

Neteyam

One month before the human's return/Three years before the incident

Thirteen and fourteen years old

Neteyam barely got a chance to grab the sleeping mat before the two were entwined on the floor. Alyara remained curled up, laying on her head on his arm and forehead on his chest. The shaking of her breath didn't cease, but at least the sobbing lessened.

Maybe I'm a bad person, Neteyam ponders. His lips form a guilty frown for Alyara's sake. It wasn't as if he picked her up to comfort her--there was a crowd around. What kind of mate would he be if he left her there crying? Besides, she'd be embarrassed later, he's sure of it. He's spent enough years with Alyara to know that much.

Neteyam shifts his eyes to the sky, finding a bland gray in-between the cracks of the leaves. Within seconds a light mist falls on the highest layer of trees, and Neteyam sighs at the irony of it. What, she calls on the powers of the rain when she's sad?

He looks back down at her. A rather pitiful slump of a being, if you really think of it. Her parents and cousin gone. To Neteyam's knowledge, she doesn't get along well with her grandfather either. Or vice versa, whichever. Her ears are flattened against her head and her nose twitches in sniffles. A pang of guilt tugs at Neteyam for how he acted this morning.

Maybe he was too harsh. Really, how could she orchestrate all of this? Is it right to pit the blame on this girl? But, then again, who else would he blame?

"Neteyam."

"Hm?" He barely catches her whisper. "What is it?"

"You can leave if you want." She scoots a little farther from him. Her head still remains on his arm, but her body and face no longer press into his chest.

Neteyam adjusts his head, getting more comfortable on the floor beside her, "Kicking me out of my own home? That's interesting. I think I'll be staying."

Her eyes meet his own. A thousand thoughts pass over her eyes, but she doesn't speak another word. She squeezes her arms tighter around her body and ducks her head in to his chest once more. "Thank you..." A measly word of gratitude. Its so quiet that Neteyam barely recognizes that she said anything at all.

At least she has enough manners to say thank you... Neteyam feels an odd sense of displacement. As if what's happening shouldn't be at all, or he's not where he's supposed to be. Not as in he'll get into any trouble, but more like the situation itself is disturbing.

After knowing someone for years, regardless of your relationship with them, you develop a sort of responsibility over them. The more you dislike a person, the closer you become to them. So when you see them crying, or put yourself in their shoes, the pain only multiplies. Neteyam recalls an odd churning in his stomach as the death of Alyara's cousin came to be revealed. Was the churning a hatred for the disruption, the discomfort of all eyes being on him, or Alyara potentially screwing over their big moment? Neteyam can't say. This doesn't mean he wants to be here at all though.

Regardless, he'll lay for as long as it takes. Even if a part of him is angry at how it all has played out so far, he's content with remaining on the hard floor with Alyara. He tells himself it gives them a better look to be caught like this--makes him out to be a compassionate leader and whatnot.

Is that enough of a reason to stay?

Author's Note:

Not exactly proud of this. it was meant to be way longer, but i guess i lost all my notes. it just sort of dives into what neteyam thinks he feels vs what he might really feel. we've still got over 60 chapters before anything spectacular happens, so don't get too excited.

on another note, ive got this amazing idea for another story with no way to execute it. itd get in the way of this one. also, i hope no one minds that this story is somewhat flat. I don't have the energy or time to turn this into a true novel, and it doesnt exactly follow that path anyway. Think of this story as more of a glimpse into a parallel universe where these two characters exist and thigns happen... :)